morning

i think it's thundering. probably raining too. (is it raining now?)having a middle apartment kind of prevents you from knowing what's exactly going on. it's been raining for like 2 weeks from what i understand. and it's not supposed to stop until maybe the weekend. i like rain okay, but it's still like 90 degrees! and i hate that.

i can't get up in the morning. i don't want to get up in the morning.

i talked to a really old friend last night (not old in age but just been around a long time) and he made me think about some things that have been going on. (sidebar: uh...gettin jiggy wit it just came on tv? funky) i know i compare my situation to other peoples all the time, but i really think he shared this one with me. and he did the difficult thing. and is still doing it! i don't have the willpower i guess to do what he did. i need to because i think it might make everything better in the long run. but all i can think about is the really bad period between now and that "long run." i'm not ready for that. i'm too dependent i guess. it was really good to talk to him though. brought back a lot of old childhood memories of road trips and bowling alleys and lusting after yet another wrong person.

i need to go buy a new cd this week. forget the fact i have like no extra money to be throwing around. either liz phair, blur or the new deftones. i heard the blur was kind of techno-ey so i'm not so sure about that but i like the crazy beat song okay. liz phair is supposed to be real graphic like her old cds...but i'm a perv so i love that stuff. and well the new deftones just freakin rocks and i think i need something that rocks!

i guess i should get moving so i can have another fun exciting day at work. weeeeee

<3