sleeping? good?

i just got home from working 12 hours and for some reason i can't just fall into bed and go to sleep. i'm tired! i guess not sleepy? if this gets to be a jumbled mess, blame it on that, ok? hehe

i dunno what i even want to say today. thanks to the people who left comments (looooong comments even) last week! it's cool to see how people respond to what you say and sometimes it's nice because some of you have been around a while and know way too much about things, but are able to give an informed opinion because of that. so yeah. gracias.

ross, i'm tired of these leaving comments on each others blogs. i haven't seen you since the greatest day ever, aka john mayer in memphis where he like had his arm around me and his chin on my head and i was about to like totally die right then and there! someone has to cave and drive over for lunch! call me or something and let me know how you are :)

everything is okay. no new revelations about anything. i learned last week that it is practically impossible to trade my car in and get another car at a considerably less payment. i was offered brand new neons and brand new sentras, but the payments were all the same as what i pay now, for the car i absolutely love with all my heart. so yeah, it makes no sense to give up what i have for a cheaper, smaller, slower car. since i tried so hard, my dad said it would be okay and he'd just help me out with my bills like he has been all along.

i applied for a job at the arkansas crime information center. we used to work with them a lot when i worked for law enforcement standards, so maybe that will help me get it. working 80 hours a week again totally does not sound like fun, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to pay the bills if yah know what i mean. still too chunky to make any money being a hooker, but maybe in the next few months? another job is definitely in the future though.

i'm getting really tired of working in TV. i do way more work now than i did at equity, and since i have to pay for part of my insurance, my check is about the same as it was, which sucks b/c i was all excited that i got a raise and everything. it's just so much bullshit in tv and no one makes enough money to live except anchors, management and really good sales people. that's kind of shitty that the thing most people do for entertainment is run by people who can barely afford to own a tv. why on earth did i waste my time getting a degree in this mess? oh that's right. i just wanted an easy degree that didn't involve homework! i think i'm tired of tv because i haven't had a friday or saturday night off since thanksgiving weekend.

mike and i had one of those weird conversations where he pours his heart out about something and i just sit there and smile and nod and try to figure out what to say. he had a really bad day thursday and he hasn't had one of those since he started working full time at the gym so we spent like two hours discussing his anger management skills. hah. the best part is that he's talking about moving to texas again. he says that his goal for this year is to start acting like an adult and a father to his son. if he moves back to texas, he'd probably get to see his son more often. i'm all for it. he doesn't want to live where his parents live, or where his brothers live...he's saying Austin. and i told him that if he decides to go there, i want to go with him. and i thought he'd be like 'absolutely no way' but he was cool with it. it's not like we'd move next month or anything, but it's something to consider. i've always said i wanted to move, but i'm too scared to do it by myself (props to carrie who did move across the country by herself....and is surviving!). so yeah, this might be that opportunity that i'm looking for. i dunno. could we live together without killing each other? i'll let you know if that comes up again.

my parents are going to new york city on wednesday. i'm really jealous because i was going to go with them until i got the job (that i'm starting to hate) at the evil empire. i'm keeping their car while they're gone, and while i've got their car, i'm going to get the hole in mine fixed. that will be nice :)

the guy next door finally stopped playing his music where i could hear the bass line through the wall, so maybe that's my cue that it's time for me to go to sleep. he's a cool guy, it's just that he rather listen to cds instead of watch tv and i can usually name the songs he's listening to just from figuring out the bass. either i'm really that geeky, or he's that annoying. at least he's finally getting some variety. if i heard juvenille's slow motion one more time i was going to have to bang on his door. rar!

alright...eyes are getting heavy. goodnight

<3