rar

well at least its starting to feel a little like fall now. gotta love grey windy cold afternoons. or maybe that's me...

i dunno. i'm just in a pissy ass mood. i don't want to hang out with anyone and all i really want is to be left alone. i'm allowed to get like this, right? what sucks is i can't be left totally alone, so it's like the ultimate test or something. there is no way i'm going to survive the next 13 months. it's not humanly possible. i can't share my things. i can't share my space. i can't be forced to spend my time or share my life with someone else. i loved being alone after work. i could relax. i didn't have to talk about my day. i didn't feel obligated to spend time with some other person. i didn't have to share tv shows with someone. or listen to them talk about their day while i'm trying to watch something i've been meaning to watch.

i don't really mean any of that. i'm just frustrated and pmsing and these are close quarters. and i never want to hurt anyones feelings, so i just fume inside my head until it gets to that point and if i don't snap here, then someone may be hurt.

at least i get to eat whatever i want for dinner each night. nypd pizza was gooood tonight. and it's something i've been craving for weeks.