giving & receiving

ask yourself this: do you give as much as you receive? do you receive as much as you give? if you think you don't receive enough from people, do you feel conceited for wondering why you aren't getting all you deserve?

these are my thoughts this evening. i feel bad for even considering that i may give more than receive. but sometimes it seems that way. i think i do a lot of good deeds. i help my mother and i do other people's jobs at work. i say hi to people on the street. i'm courteous. i only gripe in private. and if anyone asks for help, i'm always there!

but when i need help, people bail. is that because i am awful at choosing friends? i just had a bad feeling about moving this morning and wouldn't you know it, one of the guys supposed to help move the heavy stuff bailed. so yeah, i don't have a plan B and i just know i'm going to end up moving my shit by myself. i have no idea what i'm going to do about the heavy stuff though.

i've got to stop being so nice. i know i'm a giver. i've always been one, and i'm sure that won't change. i just wish i could find someone (some people) who gave like i did so i could feel that my efforts weren't done in vain.

i'm okay though! it's not the end of the world! and where there's a will, there's a way, right?

<3