absent mindedness strikes back

I’ve decided that I’m going to lose some weight. Not for health reasons, or self-esteem issues, but because I want to be a bitch. The whole plan is that when I’m skinnier, I’m going to go ask out all of these guys that I’ve had crushes on, and when they say sure, I’m going to ask why they wouldn’t go out with me earlier. I know I’m not jaw-dropping hot, but I thought it was personality that counted? Hah! I can’t say anything though. part of the reason why I like some of these guys is b/c they are gorgeous to me. I was talking to my friend at work and he said that I’m full of crap – wanting to get skinny so I can pay some guys back. Maybe it’s not totally that reason though. I want to see Ryan’s face when he gets back to Arkansas and I look completely different than when he left. It’ll be like extreme makeover! Maybe I’m just tired of my life right now and that seems like a good way to make it interesting again. Plus it will get my mom off my back.

Don’t get me wrong, I think I am very pretty. I feel pretty. I feel sexy most of the time. Not so much right now b/c I have this zit on my jaw that I could live without, but the rest of the time I’m fine. There are just too many prettier people that work in my building. Yeah, that’s what it is.

Date guy came over Sunday night and cooked me dinner. And did dishes. I don’t know what to think. I’m not used to such treatment. It’s nice. We watched a movie that was pretty good. He wrote about how we have these conversations with one another through our blogs. Which is true. It probably should stop though. and I know you’re reading this, and I think I’m going to email you about some things this afternoon. And I’m going to do that instead of wait until later this evening to talk to you only b/c I don’t want to forget things!

I said I was going to write a lot yesterday, but I got busy and never went back to it. I’m not sure if I’ll finish what I started today or not either. Sorry about that. Since I know now that there are more people reading this and actually taking to mind what I say, I’m trying to self-censor myself before I upset too many people. Not that it bothers me that people get upset, I’m just tired of having confrontations with so many people so much of the time. I’ll finish this later.

<3