in memory of my other mom

i haven't said anything or responded to any comments this week because one of my good friends died tuesday afternoon. beth hired me to work for the Office of Law Enforcement Standards a few years ago and she was a friend ever since. i've mentioned her a few times on here and asked for you to include her in your prayers. she had lung cancer first, and beat it, but it came roaring back as brain cancer that would not react to any kind of treatment.

beth took care of me as if i was her own daughter. she was overly generous and one of the most caring people you'd ever meet. she did everything in her power (and sometimes beyond her power) to make sure you were happy. she's the one that let me go home from work to take a nap before i went to my other job, and i still got paid for the time i was gone. she was always willing to listen to you, no matter what she was doing or what you were talking about. she had a thick country accent and wore colorful denim jeans (any color but blue it seemed like) and had big southern belle hair that made me laugh, and she'd laugh too if you pointed it out to her. i remember when she first got her wigs (b/c of the chemo stealing her hair) we went around telling everyone she just got it chemically straightened like i was doing at the time. the whole time she was sick, she didn't want you to worry about her. she never asked for any help and for a while she didn't even want people to know she had cancer because she didn't want the extra attention. and even while she was going through this, she was still offering to help me out in any way that i needed. she would not sit and watch for anything. we rearranged the office one week and she insisted that she help and i practically had to force her to sit down and let me do it.

beth was a strong woman. very opinionated, hard working, great sense of humor. even the last time i talked to her she was saying we needed to go back to the office (even though i haven't worked there in a year and she'd been gone at least 6 months) and move some stuff around. she was crazy like that.

she smoked cigarettes, and i do blame them for taking her life. i hope if you smoke you seriously consider what you are doing to yourself and how your death will affect the people you love (and who love you). beth was only 50.

i miss having lunch with her and lindsey and talking about girl things like boys and school and stuff. beth was always trying to act as young and lindsey and i actually were. it was fun, like hanging out with girlfriends that i just happened to work with. we knew all of each others business and it was nice to have some informed advice. she'd call me at 7:30am to make sure we agreed on what we were going to work on that morning. prioritize and organize was her slogan. i spent a lot of time trying to organize her....and i still don't think it ever worked.

we did have our fights like any mother/daughter relationship, but things always worked out in the end. i know i was really frustrated with her sometimes, but i get mad at everyone eventually.

i'm sad that she's gone, but i'm also glad that she's finished feeling miserable. i saw her through her 2 years of fighting cancer and i'm choosing to remember her during her stronger, healthier times than the end when she was fragile and weak.

prioritize and organize! i love yah evil stepmother! i'll see you again.

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