oh my god. could this really be happening?

since i'm going to be out and about pretty much all day for the next 3 days, i figured i'd write something now. and this is going to be all about mike so if you're interested in work or family or whatever else i write about, don't be disappointed.

last night we went to see a perfect circle. it was awesome. we were on the floor and i've got the bruises on my arms and my shoulder to prove it.

wait. i'm going to start at the beginning.

after work yesterday, one of the guys from work, his dad, and mike came over to get ready for the show. they were drinking and smoking and crap...i was just chill. we left here after 7. when we were with that guy and his dad we were acting like normal. but once we got to the show and split from them, things changed.

got to the show. got felt up by a woman security guard (wee) bought some beers and we went into the arena where the opening band was playing already. the band sucked so we just found a seat at the top near the door to hang out and drink our beers. well before that band finishes, mike's already got his hand like on my thigh. i'm like ok cool. he's drunk. no big deal.

so when the band was wrapping up we decide to run and get another drink b/c we wanted to be on the floor for APC and once you're down there, you're not coming out. so we stop and get a couple of crown n cokes and head down to the floor. blahblah...stand around waiting for apc. he's in front of me and like making me hold onto him so we don't get seperated. which is cool. that's what we did at Foos and it worked fine and nothing happened afterwards! well when the lights go down he like puts me in front of him b/c the kids behind us start moshing. and to keep me in front of him he keeps his hands in my front pockets. hehe. and that's when i start thinking okay...this is going a bit further than i'm used to, but it's cool! so i go along with it. he spent the whole set cushioning the moshing kids blows so i wouldn't get hurt. of course by the last song he was ready to jump in with them so he did and got all happy b/c he got to hit some little kids.

so the show ends and we head to the car hand in hand *swoon* and we run into the guy from work and his dad again and i thought he'd drop my hand and i sorta let go but he kept holding on. so then i was like okay..now eric's going to know something is up.

blahblah we come back to my house (without eric and his dad) (holding hands like the whole drive home) and mike's drunk so i'm like you're not going home yet and i make him come upstairs with me. and we both kinda crash in my chair. i was so tired and he was just out of it i think. so we're sitting there...in the same chair and he's like laying across it diagonally so i just kinda lean back on top of him and we're watching tv with our eyes closed. and that's when he starts kissing me (!!!!!) and um...other things i'm not going to write about in public. blahblahblah. we make out for like an hour and he's like i have to go home and i don't want him to b/c a) he's still not totally sober and b) uh hello....i don't want him to! so whatever, he gets up to leave and we like stand there making out for another period of time b/c i'm trying to convince him to stay. doesn't work though. he gets in the car and goes home and calls me when he gets there.

well at work today, i didn't know what was going to happen. so i just went in expecting everything to be the same as it was yesterday morning. and it was pretty much. he kept asking me questions about what went on last night which bothered me. apparently after he got home, he went to wendy's but he doesn't remember that part. so after answering a few of his questions, i just flat out ask if he remembers being at my house after the show. and he's like oh yeah with a wink. so that made me feel somewhat better. i just knew that he was drunk and that's why all that happened and he probably wouldn't remember anything. but he did. so awesome.

saturday night he's working the same booth as me at riverfest. and he told me last night since he couldn't spend the night then he'd stay the night saturday. i'm trying to be patient and not clingy and not like a stupid girl by not calling him today or asking dumb questions like 'when can we hang out again?' i'm just being chill about the whole situation and it's eating me alive on the inside, but i think it's working quite well on the outside. i'll probably ask him tomorrow if he still wants to crash on saturday just to make sure. he knows i'm a planner.

sunday night he promised me we'd go see fireworks on the river. i'm just praying now it's not going to rain.

still though. i can't believe i got what i wanted. it's like insane. i just hope that it's real and not some stupid memorial day weekend fling. i still don't want an official boyfriend, but i won't complain if this ever turns into something like that. i'm not going to start thinking in those terms yet though! i'm chill! i'm being patient and letting things go as they please. it's worked so far so why change?

damnit i love being this happy.

<3