you miss me? i'm still around. just been xanga-ing. i dunno why i like it better there. just got into a rhythm i guess.

since i think i've waited long enough for my normal readers to stop checking this site, now maybe i can say things i don't really feel like telling the world.

i'm so torn right now. i have this incredible, wonderful opportunity standing right in front of me, and i want to take advantage, but there's this one string holding me back. and that string is pretty freakin thick!

i had this dream that i was with this guy and he wanted me to wait for him. and i so wanted to wait because, even though i meant nothing to him, my crazy self fell in love. i loved our conversations. i loved the time we spent together. i loved his snoring in my ear and how he was always right.

i don't want to be held back really. i know i like this guy who is basically the male version of me, but it's like there's no challenge there. if he and i are exactly the same, how will i learn anything? i need an opposite. i love the tension and the subtle arguements and the fact that we're not the same.

i don't want to be that woman who marries the perfect guy for her, just because she knows that's the easy thing to do, when in the back of her mind she's always wondering if she missed out on her true love.

cold cold water surrounds me now
and all i've got is your hand
lord can you hear me now?
or am i lost?
no one's daughter allow me that
and I can't let go of your hand
lord, can you hear me now?
or am i lost?
don’t you know i love you

and I always have
hallelujah
will you come with me?
cold cold water surrounds me now
and all i've got is your hand
lord.. can you hear me?
or am i lost?

~damien rice