end of summer vacation daay!

it's finally here! yayay!

just some quick housecleaning before i go away for a week:

finally got my test results back. negative. so i get to have a scope done in the coming weeks! yay! the doctor i have selected first does a consultation and then schedules the scope so then i'll know when it is. otherwise, i'm doomed to worry about what goes on until then. luckily they hooked me up with a whole lot of drugs to last me until the appointment. nothing like some good ol' drugs!

i had the date i've been looking forward to tonight. i think it just made me realize that i'm really not interested in dating anyone right now. i have so much *me* stuff i need to get sorted out and simmered down that it's hard to focus and open up to a stranger. and letting someone new into this wacky world of mine just seems out of the question right now. so yeah. he's cool and it's not like i don't like him...i just don't want to lead someone on when i'm not at that point right now. you know? man i hope he doesn't take this personally. probably not though. he seems pretty tough. i'm sure we'll hang out more. i'm just really nervous when i go out with people one-on-one these days. with larmon and ryan and matt and whoever else i've been going out with, i'm fine. probably b/c they all know i'm not interested in them and they aren't interested in me. but when there's like romantic potential, i freak out. and i don't think now is a good time for freaking out with my unknown diagnosis and all.

so yeah. i feel bad about it because i think he sorta likes me. but you know blahblah i've been in his position a zillion times and i'm sure it's not that big of a deal. i just care too much about others and i feel bad when i hurt their feelings.

so i guess that's all the major news from this front. i have most of my bags packed and i'm ready to go tomorrow. i'll be back after labor day. that is unless i manage to sneak myself into John Mayer's luggage. then you may not hear from me for a while (but watch for me on ET when we have our secret wedding) hehe.

<3