freaking out!

still no word from atlanta, although it's not quite noon yet on tuesday. i called my recruiter lady and her voice mail says she's out of the office in meetings until friday, but she'll return messages during her breaks. is that a good sign or bad sign?

i can't take this stress! i need to know now! i'm assuming the worst, but maybe they just haven't decided. it's just frustrating to know that you could do this job, but you're not sure if you put that into your words as well as you could have.

i had another job interview today with the Board of Pharmacy. it's a small office downtown that's a lot like my old gig at law enforcement standards. the people were friendly and it pays more than i make in master control, so i'm hoping i can get that. deep down i want atlanta, but i guess this is a good plan B?

my mini vacation starts tomorrow. i had hoped that i was going to spend it cleaning up and packing around here, but i guess i won't! six flags and eminem is a go for thursday/friday, so at least i have something planned to do.

my grandma fell in her yard while picking tomatoes sunday, and no one found her for over 2 hours. she doesn't get around all that well, so she couldn't get up when she fell. luckily, my aunt came back to the neighborhood and noticed things weren't right (garage open, golf cart in middle of yard with no one around), so she was found. just a bunch of scrapes and bruises and a few ant bites. scary though for what could have been.

i can't stop thinking about mike either. if we get back together, things have to be different. i'm not sure i want to do that though. i don't know what i want honestly. if and when we go to dallas, we'll have a good 5 hour drive to talk about things...maybe something can be worked out. maybe not. like i'm not stressed out enough as is. although, he usually says things that relax me. maybe that's why i want him around so badly now.

i finished harry potter for the most part. i think i have like 3 pages left. i didn't cry. i figured that's who was going to die. kinda ruins my trent reznor thing having Snape run off like that though.

i just have a lot to say lately...i need all the catharsis i can get.

<3