i used to focus on how i wanted everyone to like me. i'd talk to anyone and everyone. i'd hang out with you. i'd laugh at your jokes. i mean, wouldn't you want everyone to like you as opposed to everyone hate you?

i'm nice to everyone. i still am to this day. you can walk all over me, and you know i'd still say hi if i saw you on the street. the only difference is that my sense of humor has definitely become more jaded. if i'm hurting on the inside, i'll make jokes that have an added zing that hopefully will make you wince. i don't mean to be hurtful, hence me hiding it in a joke, it's that i don't deal with negativity that well.

right now, there is someone who is flinging insults and negativity at me from the stupidest of places. and yeah, it does hurt my feelings that this person hates me to that extent, but really. at what point does this get retarded and completely immature? i think it's at that point. this is someone i don't talk to, but meddles in my life. luckily, the people that this person does talk to, are people who know the truth about how i feel and why i act this way.

i'm just frustrated i guess b/c it's pointless to try to explain things. it's not like i want this person more involved in my life, i just want things cleared up.

i think we all get wrapped around the axel in trying to prove that what we do and say is the right thing always. sometimes it's just best to let others continue thinking they're right in order to avoid confrontation.

i live with the peace that is my life. if my peace is something you'd like to have so badly that you must become involved, then do so with your inner voice. leave me out of it, and stop trying so hard to make me react. i am buddha!