old lady

i was standing in front of the mirror a minute ago (and no i don't do this often) and for some reason i was thinking i was younger than i actually am. and then it donned on me that i'm twenty-three. that's TWO THREE. 23!

now i know you're scratching your head wondering why on earth would this girl be freaking out b/c she's 23. that's young, right? sure it's young when you're thinking in terms of retirement. but i'm thinking in terms of youth. i'm old! i'm boring! i like staying in and doing nothing! and i'm still mad at myself for not accomplishing a number of things that i decided i would accomplish before i was 20 (and then 21, and then 22 and now 23). i'm almost halfway through 23 even! and nothing! i'm still in debt. i'm still depending on my parents for money every now and then. i'm still without a single serious relationship that lasts longer than a summer. i'm still working a dead-end job. i'm still fat and my hair is still frizzy!

i'm so afraid i'm going to grow into being one of those cat ladies. although i hate cats. so i need some other pet to take the place of cat and then i'll be whatever that pet is lady.

i'm tired of falling in love with the wrong people! but the wrong people always seem so right. and it's not my fault these relationships don't work out/turn into something else. it's the other people. i'd be the best girlfriend you ever had! i care! i'm considerate! i cook! i clean! i can be a slut! ;)

whatever. i just don't want to grow old alone. or have to hang out with my married friends and still be the single girl. I don't want to be Bridget Jones!

bah! i hate when i'm in these "woe is me i'm so old" moods.

i want a cookie.