questions

do you think of me? like you're driving down the road and you see something and you think "laurie"? or maybe something on tv reminds you of me. just random thoughts...are they ever about me?

do you dream about me? i have these dreams where you and i like go on these adventures. like a silly cartoon or something. i usually wake up with a smile because we have fun in my dreams like we do in reality.

do you think anything will ever happen with us? like we'll be friends for 10 years or whatever and then just decide that we've put up with each other for so long, might as well make it official? should we be making one of those pacts where if we're not married by the time i'm 35, we should get married?

do you ever want to stay when the night is over? but, i don't know, b/c i don't offer to let you stay longer or something, you just leave? honestly, i don't like it when you leave.

if i was skinny, would that change anything? i don't think it would because i'm naive like that. but i've heard otherwise.

if you feel like these questions are directed at you, then explain some things and give me answers. i go back and forth on this issue like every few weeks and as soon as i think i'm past it, something happens and i go back to the beginning.

even if we had one of those relationships like Dawson and Joey, i think i'd be happy. they spent a lot of time talking and spending time together, even though they weren't officially "together." we pretty much already have that, they just spent the night together many times because one of them was too tired to go home. it sounds weird, but i feel best when you are around.

and i'm crazy. absolutely nuts. i refuse to discuss this with you because of all the rejection in the past. it's not worth it anymore. so, i figure if i just hang around forever more then eventually the tide will change. it's strange that i manage to do that because i have absolutely no patience. but on the other hand, i'm writing this. i guess that shows how thin my patience has grown. if i just say forget it though, what will i be left with? that's what i'm trying to figure out now.

<3