in a writing mood

i dunno what i want to write about though. i read what i said last and it doesn't make any sense. not very coherent at all. lo siento!

i never mentioned the nasty blisters i got on my hands from going to the batting cages last week. hell, did i even tell the story about the softball game saturday? april and i went with the intentions of just watching. and damn i was looking cute - khaki capris, nice white button down, sandals. well wouldn't you know that would be the day that they need a girl to play or we have to forfeit. and of course i get recruited b/c BT knows i've been going to the batting cages. well i got some serious blisters friday afternoon batting (you know, hitting a few softballs is a really good stress reliever...) and playing saturday only made them worse. so as of today i have like 3 dried up gross spots - one on each thumb and one at the base of my pointer finger on my right hand. ick. i was putting neosporin and bandaids on them but then mike made me stop that and said i should let them dry out. who's right? i don't know how to treat my own injuries b/c i don't usually do things that get me injured!

there's a John Mayer show on VH1 tonight. he's performing with Paul Simon. it should be pretty good. and it goes off just in time for me to catch game 5 of the NBA finals. weeeee pistons!

i wrote ryan a letter sunday. i feel so bad that i haven't talked to him in like a month. i've been busy (ok, selfish) and haven't even turned on my yahoo at work, which is where i usually catch him. i'm sure he's doing well. i hope my letter is a surprise!

last night i worked prime shift along with my usual 730a-4p hours. i was SO tired when i left there at 11p. i left at 4 and had to turn around and come right back b/c they didn't have enough people b/c i have a guy who's shift is changing days and we misunderstood each other on what day he was off this week. blah! so when i got back to work, i arrive to find that the servers are crashing and stations are airing their commercials in black. weeeeeeee! so it was chaos for the first hour. the people that work that shift really are morons. i didn't realize that until i spent a few hours with them. one guy kept going out back to get high. hah. i text messaged mike to bring me a beer at like 7, and i really didn't think he'd do it, but he did. so he and i spent an hour sitting in my car in the parking lot drinking and talking about things. i swear that has been the highlight of my week thus far. why don't we just sit and talk more often? we were listening to lick, or what used to be Lick and is now an oldies station, and laughing about how we knew the words to like every song. he was telling me about how some songs make him cry (what? big tough mike cries? no way!). he had a rough day at the gym yesterday which is why i think he showed up. he talked to a nutritionist about his eating habits and how he wants to gain muscle mass and the nutritionist basically told him he was doing everything wrong. that really pissed him off. so he showed up last night with his new eating schedule and what he's allowed to eat and when. and then today he was following it. i hope he gets to the level he's working so hard for. i know that nutritionist telling him he's doing everything wrong really hurt his feelings, but that person does have credentials that prove he knows what he's talking about.

i think we're going to go play softball thursday after work. i need the practice if i'm going to play on saturday and the exercise couldn't hurt either. i want to go do something this weekend. that doesn't involve staying home rar. mike and i talked about catching a movie friday, but like every weekend, it's probably just talk. he wants to see Eternal Sunshine and i've been wanting to see that again since larmon and i saw it when it came out. rar. i just looked at the theater that's showing it and thursday is the last day for it. meaning we have to go weds or thurs. and we can't go weds b/c he's working a double tomorrow so he'll want to go home and sleep. which means we have to go on thursday. why am i such an anal retentive planner? we can play ball friday. hehe.

all i want to do is make out with him again. i thought about that last night when we were sitting in the car. he was in the drivers seat and i'm in the passenger seat sitting low looking up at him. i realized that he talks a lot when it's just him and me. i'm used to being the conversationalist but i really think he talks more than i do. which is cool. i don't know that many guys that like to talk or just randomly tell me stories without me asking about something.

while i'm still on the topic of him, i didn't mean for my last post to make me sound like some sort of slut. that's not how i am, nor what i want to be. relationships seem so dramatic and there's usually a miserable party and i've been that miserable party more times than i like to remember. what's so wrong about me wanting to get mine with no baggage? just b/c i'm a girl that makes me a slut. but if some guy is out there fucking every woman he comes across, he's just a cool guy. at least i'm trying to get mine from someone i'm fairly close to instead of a stranger.

there's only one other person i've been thinking about lately. and that's good ol' Feb's SFM. he and i have been talking a lot again, but nothing in those terms. he asks about mike and i ask about the girl he's seeing and then we gripe about how we're not getting all we want. hehe. i wouldn't mind making out with him again either. he says he's coming to visit soon, but soon isn't soon enough damnit.

i can't wait to go visit nikki. i really want to get out of arkansas for a while. let people have a break from me. meet some new people in NC. two months. sheesh.

i need another job. i need some cash in my pocket. i should get off my lazy ass and go back to selling crap on ebay. i was doing pretty good with that. it seemed like i was running out of stuff to sell. i'm hoping that since i'm losing weight, my parents will give me some money. they were always trying to pay me off to get skinny and now that i need the cash, i think it's a great time to start. man i'm a spoiled brat, but i do work hard. i go to my office 7 days a week. and there's always something to be done. i just don't like being at this age where it's impossible to make enough money to survive. even if i did quit doing all my extra curriculars, i still wouldn't make it b/c of my car payment, my rent payment, my student loan payment and my miserable credit cards. it's quite depressing actually. which is why i don't think about it that often.

man i've said a lot. this should make up for all those weeks i've been too busy. i'll stop now b/c i know your eyes have to be aching.

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