rain rain

it's been pouring rain practically all day. stopped long enough for me to get some lunch and get home from work, and now it's picked up again. i'm not complaining, i love rain. it makes the temperature stay below 10990384 degrees in the summer. that makes me really happy.

my problem with the rain today is that it zaps all my energy. i have no desire to do anything. i've got laundry to do tonight. blah. there's nothing on tv, so i might talk myself into it, but i doubt it. tomorrow maybe? when i got home from work it was all nice and dark outside b/c of the clouds and i just crashed on the bed and watched oprah for a while. since then i've at least changed my clothes and done my nightly situps and even ate some cold pizza for dinner.

work has been interesting this week. the guys are all nice and fired up about how much money they make (or aren't making). i really do believe they are getting screwed over. if anyone knows how much a master control operator makes for any broadcasting company, please let me know. my people are running up to 5 stations a piece, and they make shit money. i'm trying to help change that, but the people i work for are more interested in keeping their checks fat instead of helping out the little people who actually do all the work to make their checks fat. if that makes sense. the day shift is talking about going on strike. if that happens, we are totally screwed. there's no way i can staff those stations in that short of notice and have them run as flawlessly as they do now. ugh i wish some people would loosen up their belts and help these people out. they are good people! and we just want to live above the poverty line!

i gave like 6 interviews today. i'm getting really tired of interviewing people. 3 of them are cousins/friends of BT so that was cool. one girl was really nice. one lady was like the female version of Tyrone Biggins on chappelle's show. i think we're going to take BT's people. one was tisdale and i've hung out with him before. what sucks is i think i need to like double my staff in the coming months. and if we can't get these people more money, then i'll have to hire even more people to replace the more experienced operators, who just happen to be my friends.

on the social front, ryan told me today that he is thinking about getting married when he gets back from iraq. that's great for him, but kinda depresses me. i thought he was my only sane friend left! and instead he's been blinded by a girl. why am i so against marriage and relationships? i'm getting to where i don't even like other people to be involved because it annoys me. maybe i'm just jealous. but i cannot think of a sane reason why i should want to be in a relationship. i might save a little money since someone else would be picking up the slack, but is it worth the drama? to me, no. i'm getting what i want (for the most part) out of my friendship with mike.

speaking of, we went and saw dodgeball sunday night. i swear that movie was so hilarious. go see it if you're a fan of the vince vaughn movies. all we did was go see the movie...nothing else so take your mind out of the gutter. we haven't really discussed what happened that night. BT wants me to ask if it was worth it and find out if it's going to happen again, but i'm scared to. i just figure, the more i act like it was no big deal, then the sooner he'll cave. he did the weirdest thing yesterday. i was sitting at my desk eating my lunch, reading the newspaper online and he just shows up and takes a seat and says nothing. so i'm like what's up and he's like "nothing. just thought i'd spend some time with you." do what? so i'm like okay...and continue my reading of the paper and he starts mumbling about his upcoming vacation and money and when we're going to hang out again. and i'm just like.....whatever. i do care and i do want to hang out all the time and i'd be delighted if we were a couple (wait, didn't i just say earlier that i don't want a relationship?), but i know how reality is. therefore, to avoid all of that emotional mess that comes with coupling up with someone, i choose to leave my feelings at the door.

i obviously don't know what i want. that's okay though. i'm only twenty-four and that means i have like 60 more years to figure it out.

two months from today and i'll be in NC! yay!

<3