life is......manageable?

i'm sitting here trying to take my mind off of my hunger (but i do get to eat again in like 30 minutes, so by the time i finish writing, it'll be snack time!) and there is absolutely nothing on tv (ok, i work in tv and i know it's sweeps month, but i also thought sweeps = interesting programming? the finale of everybody loves raymond is such a big deal no one counterprogrammed with something interesting?) and i don't want to clean because i feel like i did that all day (but seriously, you can't tell it...saving the bathroom for last...like tomorrow or something). things are good though, believe it or not!

i wrote last tuesday...since then.......hmm...ups and downs. normal, right?

i dropped my ipod on tuesday and i didn't think it was a major deal then because it was still playing songs. mind you it would play every 5th song or so and nothing in the order i wanted, but i thought once i got home after my workout and let it rest, everything would be okay. well it wasn't. thursday when i went to work out, the damn thing wouldn't even come on and it would just show a picture of a file flashing. so boo. i charged it again and all it did was get really hot. so i freaked because this is like one of my most valued possessions! luckily i have that best buy protection plan and i'm in the process of sending the broken ipod back and in return they send me a voucher for what i paid to get a new one. they don't make 15gb ipods anymore, so i'll end up with a 20gb (same price) and i might just splurge and get the awesome red and black u2 version for 50 dollars extra. we'll see when i get my voucher though. it was a very sad day on thursday when i discovered that my ipod had passed.

and on top of that, i smushed my finger while working out so hard that it was bleeding. i had to quit my workout early because i almost passed out from either the sight of the blood or the lack of nourishment in my system or the fact that i was burning up from working out. it's still sore now, but it's not purple anymore which is okay with me.

apparently it's not friday the 13th i should fear, it's thursday the 12th.

the mom and me shopping trip was successful. i didn't get a ton of stuff, but i think i have enough to get me through most of the summer. it's so great having clothes that aren't too big! even if my weight loss is stalled, buying new clothes makes it all seem better. i feel sexy for like the first time ever!

working out is going ahead. i'm aiming for 5 days of cardio and 3 days of weights. mike is supposed to come over after work one night and develop a weight routine for me. he decided to come here instead of me go to the gym because that way he can do stuff with the equipment i have. which makes a ton of sense. today he gave me a grocery list and i'm pretty broke, so i'm just going to go pick up the basics tomorrow. eating 5 or 6 times a day is going to kill me. i tried it today but not with much effort. i've eaten 3 times today, 1 whole egg and 2 whites for breakfast, some chips and salsa for mid snack, a wendy's salad for lunch...and that's where i'm at now. haha. you have to remember that my days don't start until 10 or 11am, so when you're having lunch, i'm usually having breakfast. i hope this works. i think i've earned it. i just have to force myself to like peanut butter. haha. i'm working on that too though!

the whole mike and a new car thing didn't exactly go as planned (big surprise, huh?). the gmac people won't finance him because he has no credit history and he's too stubborn to get a co-signer, so whatever. he says he's going to keep trying so maybe something will turn up. if he wants a car payment so badly, then i would gladly offer mine every other month. he said we're still going to go by there and see if they could help me get a lower payment on something else. i dunno when, but i'm sure i'll mention it if i end up in a different car.

our relationship is good. which is strange to say considering a month ago i was angry and wanting to leave him on the side of the road. i slept over friday night (he made me watch a friday the 13th movie rar!) and missed my saturday softball game. he was real affectionate friday which of course i loved. i wasn't planning on staying over since i was working 12 hr shifts all weekend and i had a game, but when we got to his house after work he hugged me and wouldn't let go for the longest time so i just told him i was staying. he fell asleep early for once (like 3:30a instead of 5 or 6) so i was all thinking i'd get some good sleep but every time i'd schooch over to my side of the bed, he'd follow me and keep his arms around me. i like being held! i like cuddling up with someone in bed! there's just a point during the night where i want to sleep and not be touched! so i guess i'm complaining about nothing. surely i'm not alone in that though. usually it's me that's wanting to cuddle up with him and he's only wanting to sleep. i guess it's only fair huh?

i haven't figured out when our official anniversary is. we went to memphis and may together but nothing really happened there....it was after the perfect circle concert that we ended up making out on my couch for 2 hours which was like at the end of may sometime. and we didn't start sleeping together until june. so somewhere in there is an important date to me, i just don't know when it is. i'm a terrible girlie girl.

job outlook is grim. no callbacks or anything. i'm still putting resumes and applications out there. please God, have something for me.

i'm going to eat now since it's time. i keep staring off into space thinking about nothing really, so i must be finished writing.

<3