Thursday, July 31, 2003

ahh....love. and relationships. and related matters


i don't think i've made a comment about love in a long time. what has gotten into me? i used to be this big sap that was always wanting something more, and now i just don't care. i know what reality is and therefore no longer have the ambition to dream about something better.

maybe i do care though. i care about people. certain people. most people can rot, but every now and then i come across someone who's worth leaving a porch light on at the end of the night. and if i choose to add you to that list, i try to accomodate whatever your needs are. i'm saying all of this because i know of someone who's angry and upset and hating the world. and even though they don't want anyone to care, and they say they don't care about others, i do care. and i wish i could make things better for them. but if they don't want me to, or they just don't realize they want me to, then yeah whatever. i'll stay out of the way. i'll be pouting about it on the inside, but i respect your wishes.

i don't love anyone right now. besides the standbys (family, friends, etc. etc.) that is. i've decided that it will be a long time before i love anyone again. whatever i did to myself last time was a waste and i think that whenever i meet someone who's not a waste, i'll know it's time to love again. blahblah it all sounds so prophetic. and i'm sure that the next guy that's nice to me i'll be all swoon-ey after, but right now it sounds so good. tough! rAR!

people shouldn't get so worked up over crushes and failed loves. i know that's why the person not named above is upset, angry and hating the world. why can't you just look around at the people who do care about you, and who want to make your life worth living, and take advantage of them? sure these people aren't sluts, but sex isn't important. and it's definately not the most important.

so just get out of your funk. people love you. people care. and these people are least likely to make you mad.

<3

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

la la la

blah. i've been sick off and on for like the past two weeks. i went to the doctor yesterday and he freaks me out by suggesting i might have a problem with my gallbladder? i didn't know the gallbladder had any functions.

i'm on old people prescriptions. i call it old people meds because if your drug has a tv commercial, then it must be taken by old people. my old people drug of choice is Prevacid. i can't tell it's working, but it has only been a day.

that's all the excitement going on around these parts. probably why i haven't gone on any tirades lately. just wait....i'll be back with a vengence soon.

<3