Sunday, November 23, 2003

tis one month til christmas

this week flew by...and next week will be nice b/c it's thanksgiving and i'm off from my day job for 2 days and i get time and a half at my night job. yay for extra cash!

nothing overly exciting has been going on. tonight we had a party with some old friends from school. it was nice seeing everyone. i call them grown up parties. not much liquor and lots of talking. i like sitting and talking with people. hearing others stories and contributing your own. we talked about hitting a piano bar together.

michigan beat ohio state today. now that makes me really happy. go blue! yayay!

i don't know if it's the season or if it's the fact that it has been so long since i had a boyfriend, but i'm still feeling pretty blah about some things.

i hung out with larmon today and right now i'm thinking about how i miss seeing him all the time like when school was going on. i don't know if i still like him or if i'm so fed up with other people that it's sensible to just go back to where i started.

and yeah, i know you read this blog sometimes. kill two birds with one stone, you know?

it just seems like a waste of time to actually tell him how i feel. i've done it so many times before and got nowhere and there's really nothing to indicate things would go a different way this time around. so i just sit and wait for the moment to pass. and hopefully it'll pass in less than two years unlike last time.

why do i come back to this place? he's like the only person i still like hanging out with from school. he doesn't get on my nerves like other people do. and i'd like to think i'm the same for him. i don't know what he thinks though. and he thinks in a completely different way than most people.

what would be so bad about trying out something more than friends? our schedules seem to click with me not being available on weekdays and neither are you. we like the same stuff still. i'm not in it for the money or the gifts or the pampering. and then you wouldn't have to drive home at midnight. and you could stop worrying about your ex.

why am i reasoning all this? am i that lonely? i just hate the fact that there is someone in the world that doesn't drive me absolutely insane, but he wants nothing to do with me.

dah. let's just make out one time and then i can overanalyze it until i don't like you anymore.

i'm going to sleep now.