let me pencil you in

well i thought when i eliminated my second job i would force myself to say something more often than once every two weeks. and it did work for a while. unfortunately, i'm also growing lazier when i get home from work. so that's my excuse. i'm lazy. hehe. today i came home early and took a nap so i have an unusual amount of energy. i'm doing laundry right now and i made muffins for breakfast for the week. strange huh?

i had a very.....unlaurielike weekend. i had a real *date* on saturday night. i went out with larmon friday night. and well sunday was so boring it's nothing to get excited over.

larmon and i saw eternal sunshine. it was really really good. at first my emotions were all screwed up, but now that it's sunk in after a few days, i know i really liked it. i almost cried at one point. haha. i usually get lost in movies that involve relationships and at some point i get a little watery eyed b/c i just want to feel the happiness that people experience when they are in a wonderful relationship. i know that usually comes with a lot of sadness, but put that aside for the moment. it's fun hanging out with larmon. i think our friendship is all adult now and since i'm finally past that whole 'man we would make a great couple' thing, i can focus on longer lasting things. I HAVE A GROWNUP RELATIONSHIP! YAY!

my date on saturday was pretty awesome too. except for the movie. i don't recommend you going to see The Ladykillers with Tom Hanks. Hanks' character really got on my nerves as the movie progressed. and he would NOT shut up for the life of him. i got to where everytime he started talking, i'd zone out. but yeah the date. hehe. i got picked up! and he wouldn't let me pay for anything! and he tried to open doors and stuff but a) i move fast and b) i don't stand around waiting for people to open doors. that's really cute when guys do that though. he was all nervous about not having anything to say, but it seemed to me like everything was ok. we ran into his friends at the movies which probably helped out a lot too. afterwards we loitered around the theatre for a while. ran into a girl we both knew. got asked to leave by the police b/c apparently you can't just hang out in the parking lot anymore. we went to WaHo b/c i was hungry. we meaning my date, his friend and me. hehehe. his friend was so funny though. i can't figure out if it made my date more comfortable to have him there or if the friend was just there to embarrass him. blahblah i got home at midnight! and walked to my door! how sweet is that? never ever had anyone walk me to the door. part of me was wondering if i was supposed to kiss him after that, but i didn't b/c i'm way too scared to make the first move. look at all the people i've kissed...i swear every time it starts out with him saying "would you mind if i kiss you?" hard to believe, but i swear that line is used every time. and uh yeah i love kissing people so it's not like i'm going to say no.

we're going to lunch on wednesday...this time with no friends. i'm sure it will be fun. i'm excited. it's just nice to relax and be me and go out with people.

and no, this person is not the person i dubbed as March's SFM. That person is still around too. he was supposed to come over sunday (yeah...i almost had a 3 guy weekend. slut! slut!) but he had some automotive problems of the tire slashing variety on saturday which pissed him off pretty soundly. he said he was coming over, but he never did and i played all mad and shit so earlier today he was all "i'm sorry. i was really going to come over. please forgive me" blahblah. i'm not mad. never was. i didn't know how i was going to entertain him (heh heh) if he did show up. so it was probably for the best. besides, there will be ample opportunities for that to happen.

my job is going well. i was doing these retarded affadavits for paid programs, but today they were declared useless and we chunked them. i think master control might throw a party since they had to complete one of those for every paid program we aired....and on 13 stations, that's a lot of paids everyday. we have a new station that starts Thursday! it's not really a new station, but it's new to us. it's in Cheyanne, WY...abc affiliate. a BONAFIED NETWORK !! YAY! and then we've got new stations coming the first of May and first of June too...but i'm not at liberty to discuss those at length yet. all it means is LOTS of work in master control with new shows to catch of satellite and more playlists to watch to make sure everything is on air. and we've hired a TON of newbies lately so that kinda worries me.

my family is doing well. i've quit going to visit every weekend. i go like once a month now. i usually have lunch with my parents once a week though. that's how i keep up with everyone. my cousin had twins on friday. i need to go see them! but hospitals freak me out so bad. i will when they get home for sure.

beth is doing well. she called me last week saying that they were giving up on fighting the cancer b/c there was nothing else they could do. that really freaked me out b/c i thought that meant they were just going to let her die. but she called today and said that she just couldn't undergo radiation anymore. they were going to do MRIs of her brain (um she has brain cancer) every two weeks for about a month and a half and see if the cancer is growing/spreading/shrinking/stagnant. so if you are the praying sort, keep her in mind. she's my second mother and takes very good care of me. i hate that she is having to go through this.

me and feb's SFM are cool again. we don't talk that much, but we're still friendly. he's so messed up, but i sorta think he's a good friend to have. i may need him sometime. i'm not sure what for, but you never know. he still trusts me, even through my crazy immature outbursts. i'm glad for that. i had this weird thing go on last night concerning him though. i was trying to go to sleep, and i'd get in bed and close my eyes and i would like flashback to when he was here. and i could hear him talk to me and it was like reliving all that went on. and so i tried to fight it for like 30 mins and it wasn't working. i ended up getting out of bed and coming online only to find him here *dah* but it's okay. b/c by the time i went back to sleep, i wasn't having those flashbacks anymore. flashbacks? that sounds like so...old fashioned or something. i don't know what else to call them. i guess subconsciously i still want what i had then, but i keep that supressed b/c it's not healthy, it's not safe and it's not going to happen! so yeah...i'll just submerge myself in this sea of boys that actually do appreciate me, or so i think. he still was damn sexy though. UGH stop thinkin about it ;)

i'm thinking about going to nikki's in august. JM is playing in raleigh on the 24th and uh yeah i just have to be there. i want to go to NC before moose heads out to the desert so i think that will be a good time. plus i'll have some vacation time saved up. i found a plane ticket today for like $250. i'm excited. that gives me a trip to look forward to! yay!

OH! and last week was the one year anniversary of this blog! congratulations! yay for me! a whole year with the same blog!

doesn't a really long post make up for two weeks of silence? Thanks for coming by !