not so bad after all...

what a beautiful day to be sitting indoors blogging! at least i have the back door and the windows open...it's hard to believe that this time last year we had snow. i didn't waste both beautiful 70 degree days, don't worry. i went to pinnacle yesterday and climbed the mountain, not to the top, but to as high as i've ever gone before. i was proud of myself...and even though i could see the top ( i was at marker #9), i was shaking so bad, i was too afraid to keep going. next time i will finish!

i have been sick since we got back from the casinos (which might have something to do with me shaking while climbing pinnacle). i feel okay today, but sunday and monday were pretty icky. i had an uneventful Valentines Day, meaning no presents, no cards, no mushy letters. probably because i was sick. haha. i did have lunch with my sweetheart which worked for me. the waiter begged us to have a piece of sweetheart cake and we refused since we both decided to get back on the fitness plan this week. i'm still nibbling away at the strawberry cake my mom got me for my birthday though :x

sunday i had lunch with my parents and my youngest brother. i'm getting even more lax on visiting with them...i should stop, but our days off don't go together and some days i rather hang out with mike on my day off instead of drive to cabot. after lunch, mike and i went and saw Sideways. i liked it a lot. there's a lot of symbolism in that movie that i felt like i related to. it's a shame paul giamatti got snubbed for the oscar...he was good in that.

i'm working my way backwards apparently in telling the stories. i'll just lump all birthday activities in one story.

thursday i planned on hooking up with a bunch of people and going bowling and maybe to a bar or something. it's just that everyone bailed, so i was pretty upset. i did end up going to Legends with mike and bill and tis, which was fun i guess. bill tried to teach me to play pool, which didn't work too well, but maybe one day i'll figure it out. tis and i got there before bill and mike so we were talking and i asked some questions about mike and tis said he wouldn't discuss anything about our relationship because he's friends with us both and he doesn't want to take sides on anything. so i was like alright whatever......and he goes on to say something about how bad relationships are learning tools and i should just take what i've learned and move on. that sort of made me mad because how would he know whether my relationship was bad or not? anyway, like a few minutes later, mike showed up and he was all rubbin on me and stuff so i was fine. i'm not going to ruin my party over one comment. man we stayed at legends until like 4. i went home by myself, which sucked, but i was honestly so tired i didn't care.

friday i hung out with bill and april while we were waiting for tis and mike to get off work. april and i were pissy because tis was going with us to the casinos and we couldn't figure out who invited him. um....if it's valentines weekend.....and 2 guys and 2 girls are going out of town for the night.....you wouldn't invite yourself to go along would you? well he did. and then he held us up on leaving so april and i were even more mad. she and i were in my car and the boys were in her truck so we split and complained about the guys the whole way to tunica. it was actually nice to gripe to someone who knew what was going on and also had problems. so she and i pretty much plot what we're going to do when the guys get there, and by the time they get there, we're not mad anymore. she told me that mike complained to her that i didn't 'initiate anything" and that's why we don't sleep together. and i'll be the first to tell you that i never make the first move because i'm terrified that he's not interested. so i was like alright, i'll start initiating things and we'll see what happens. april wants me to rip his clothes off or something, but i think i'm going to start small. haha.

blahblahblah...gambling...boys lose money playing cards...laurie wins lots of money on slot machines...april loses money on slot machines...laurie's happy...everyone's mad and ready to go to sleep at like 3:30am. so we find a hotel that isn't booked down the street from the casinos...and then we have to figure out who's sleeping with Tis. lucky me, he ends up in our room. whatever....i don't care. i didn't really think i'd be getting any that night either, so i didn't say anything. we get in the room and tis is like ready to go to sleep but mike is all giggling like a kindergartener because he's drunk and high and everything else, so he and i go back to one of the casinos to get something to eat. the restaurant was like insanely slow, so we just get up and leave and stop at a gas station and get some snacks instead. at this point i'm too tired to eat so i just get back in the room and change clothes and get in bed. it was like 6am by then and they were putting out the breakfast food in the hotel lobby so tis and mike run down there and steal some cereal and fruit and stuff. they were so goofy that night. finally at like 7, i get mike to go to bed and tis i think passes out not long after.

blahblah....i finally get to sleep with my boy and i remember about april talking about initiating things, so yeah i initiate stuff and we had sex with tis in the room. how dirty is that? he was asleep...and snoring like a freaking walrus. it was funny b/c like in the middle of things....he stopped snoring and mike and i both stopped what we were doing and sat up and looked at him for a good 30 seconds until he started snoring again. after we had sex i told him i was sorry for not initiating things more often and he told me not to worry about it, everything was cool. i guess that wasn't a good time for an apology, but i think i was trying to let on that even if i don't make the move, that doesn't mean i don't want it (which he already knows b/c april even said that he knew what i wanted, he just wanted me to say something or do something...rar!) . anyway, i spent the rest of the morning curled up with him and that's all i really wanted for my birthday and for valentines day. which is why i'm really not complaining about not getting anything from him.

saturday i was so tired because i don't think i slept at all and then on top of that i was supposed to be at work at 5. i couldn't get anyone to leave the casinos though! so i was like 2 hours late to work (i told them i had a flat tire). and then it took every last ounce of energy i had to stay awake until 1 before i could go home. i think the fact that i slept maybe 10 hours from thursday night - sunday morning is why i'm sick now.

overall, i think i had a good birthday. it wasn't as crazy as last year when i was shacking up with a certain SFM for a few days, but it was good nonetheless. more meaningful maybe? i'm not twitching for sex now and i'm pretty happy about everything again. no more thoughts about breaking up with him right now. next time we plan a weekend away though, we are totally not taking tis. and if he invites himself, then he's sleeping with bill and april.

<3