Saturday, April 26, 2003

concert review #1
matchbox twenty, sugar ray, maroon 5

the memory of this show will be that it was the first one i was forced to attend by myself. but i'm so glad i did. i know only like 4 people read this damn thing, but if you have, then you'll notice i've had kind of a stressful week. cancer and job interviews and the fact that no one would take my other ticket drove me insane.

anyway the show.

maroon 5 was pretty good, considering most of the time they were on the stage i thought i'd never heard them before. really skinny Dashboard Confessional like lead singer. their songs had a funk-70s style feel to them. i liked them a lot. they played a song i'd heard a few times on the radio that i had liked, but never knew who the band was. nice surprise. their set was only like 20 mins though so not enough to give them a true rating.

sugar ray was almost exactly the same as the last time i saw them whenever that was many summers ago. they had the bartender on the stage dishing out drinks to the guys the entire time. they played all the hits and even the rare ones i like (like mean machine from the first cd). lots of new stuff from them b/c they have a new cd out in june. mark mcgrath needs to go back to the spikey hair b/c his flat hair was just not attractive at all. did absolutely nothing for me. their performance was pretty good though. 3 stars out of 5. they'd get more stars if mark's hair was spikey or they had a different stage setup than the last time i saw them. oh the "low rider" bicycles like in that Sprite commercial were a nice touch.

ahhhh matchbox twenty. rob thomas doesn't dance. he shimmies. and that man just does something for me. i could watch that all damn day long if i could. he is not the most attractive rock singer (hello brandon boyd & john mayer) but i dunno...i just want to jump his bones.

oh yeah, there was music. they were awesome. i loved every minute of it. lots of new stuff..sprinkled with a lot of stuff from the 1st cd (real world, long day, busted, etc). not enough from mad season though! all they did was the radio singles from that cd i think and my two favorite MB20 songs ever are on that cd (rest stop & you won't be mine...both of which i saw them play like 2 years ago in memphis...with a string section...one of the most awesomest moments i've ever experienced). i still loved it though. 4.5 stars out of 5! they'd get the whole 5 stars if they'd play my favorites. but close enough!

concerts are like a release for me. i can go and forget everything that's happening outside that arena and let whoever is on stage just take me awaaaay. and tonight, that person was rob thomas. damn him for getting married. i want him to call me and talk dirty on the phone. he's got such a sexy, scratchy voice.

man if i had gone to that show with some man that wasn't related to me, i believe we would be having some awesome sex right about now.

and i need a shower. possibly a cold one.

<3

rush who?

i'm really not a fan of this guy's views, but every now and then i see what he's saying and if this is really from the horse's mouth, then this will be one of those rare times i agree with him. read on...

By Rush Limbaugh...

I think the vast differences in compensation between the victims of the September 11th casualty, and those who die serving the country in uniform, are profound. No one is really talking about it either because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11th.

Well, I just can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country. If you lost a family member in the September 11th attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.

If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable. Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs. If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry. And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt. Keep in mind that some of the people that are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it's not enough.

We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11th families are getting. In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.

You see where this is going, don't you? Folks, this is part and parcel of over fifty years of Entitlement politics in this country.

It's just really sad. Every time when a pay raise comes up for the military they usually receive next to nothing of a raise. Now the green machine is in combat in the Middle East while their families have to survive on food stamps and live in low rent housing.

However, Our own U.S. Congress just voted themselves a raise.

And many of you don't know that they only have to be in Congress one-time to receive a pension that is more than $15,000 per month and most are now equal to be millionaires plus. They also do not receive Social Security on retirement because they didn't have to pay into the system.

If some of the military people stay in for 20 years and get out as an E-7 they may receive a pension of $1,000 per month, while the politicians, the very people who placed you in harms way, receive a pension of $15,000 per month.

I would like to see our elected officials pick up a weapon and join ranks before they start cutting out benefits and lowering pay for our sons and daughters who are now fighting.

"When do we finally do something about this ?"


i never thought the Sept 11th families deserved millions of dollars for their pain and suffering. yeah it was really awful that they died, but unless the money was coming straight from the terrorist's checking accounts, a million dollars was a bit extreme. and what about those Oklahoma families? i don't remember anything about those people asking for extreme amounts of money when their building was bombed. maybe it has something to do with how people living in the midwest are not money grubbing individuals as people on the east coast. and does a million billion dollars really make you feel that much better that your loved one is gone? if it does, then you need some counseling.

now don't get me wrong, i love the east coast. i want to live there! but it costs too damn much!

and everyone knows the politicians are only in their offices so they can set themselves up financially for the rest of their lives. that is pretty cheap of them to not give the military families as much as they allow to go to terrorist victims families.

maybe a Dixie Chick should stand up and say that the military families deserve more money for retirement and death benefits!

<3

Thursday, April 24, 2003

secrets

has someone ever told you something in complete confidence and after you heard it you thought that this news is bigger than one person. like this is something that should not be kept a secret?

well. this lady at work has been sick this week. she had some stomach virus last week and this week she has this really bad pain in her side. we made some jokes about how it was a heart attack and how she should go to the doctor. she did go finally, but it's not a heart attack. she's just got a bruise from something. but...while she was at the doctor getting all these tests run in case it is a heart attack, they found a tumor in her lung that they think is cancer.

how am i supposed to react to that? not only does my boss have some terminal liver disease and is on a transplant list, but now his secretary and my supervisor has lung cancer.

cancer! it's totally a result of smoking b/c the woman has smoked forever. i hate cigarrettes. if you smoke, i think you're stupid. yeah i know its addictive and it's hard to quit blahblahblah. you're killing yourself. if you're going to commit suicide then just shoot yourself and save yourself some money. i'd rather die a quick death like that instead of years of suffering and having to survive off a respirator.

that's just me though i guess.

not to be insensitive, but i really don't have time to worry about people dying of cancer! i have too many other things to worry about!

<3

interesting link

allaboutjen.com.

it's this woman from chicago who lost her job almost 2 years ago and she bitches about how much it sucks. and she hates britney spears. it's pretty funny, although she doesn't think much of fresh college graduates that keep stealing jobs from under her nose. i most likely fit in that category.

and from there you find out there are all these other unemployed people who have websites. why didn't i think of this when i was bored and not working? i could have been asking for donations all those months! hell i could still be asking for them because my job doesn't even pay the rent.

<3

OH! and the tornados are on their way...there are already warnings out. blaaaaah! someone come over and keep me safe!

OH OH! i still haven't gotten rid of those matchbox twenty tickets. seriously, could i have crappier friends? you people suck! i'm offering you a free ticket (that originally cost me about 50 bucks) to see a concert and you won't even go! you know, the story will be different when Dave Matthews gets here and i have two tickets for that as well. all of these crappy friends of mine will appear and want to go but i'm considering asking where the hell they were this weekend when i couldn't give away my tickets.

<3 <3

job hunt 2003 continues

i took today off to gather my thoughts and run some errands.

i went to the newspaper and did a typing and spelling test. further evidence of how i am not a good speller. i do type 78 words per minute with a 98% accuracy rate! woo!

those people at the newspaper are weird. like something is stuck up their ass. the lady i talked to seemed offended that i already applied for a position and i was just coming in to complete the tests. the position i applied for was in the promotions department so maybe those people are more fun.

there were some nice looking guys working there by the front door though. not that i'm perusing or anything.

i have an interview next Tuesday at UAMS with the college of nursing. i want a job there because i'd get tuition discounts at UALR (hello masters degree!) and they pay really well and even the retirement package rocks.

it's not that i hate the job i have now, i just need more money than they can give me. working for the state has it's financial limitations you know. and they didn't even give me a raise b/c i had a college degree now! so blah. i'll miss the people though. it was nice having people to each lunch with everyday. but i know that i'll make the same friendships at whereever i end up in the future.

-----------

it is supposed to storm really bad later. i'm kind of worried about it b/c i hate storms. and the sun has come out now so that just means it will be worse. lord i hope there are no tornados. i do not do well when there are tornado warnings. and since i live by myself, i think my fear has gotten worse. there's no one around to calm me down!

i'm feeling better about everything else though. as this one lady i know says "fuck em and make em eat fish heads." whatever that means. it does describe how i'm going to treat most people from now on though. so if you know me...watch out ;)

<3

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

frustrated

i'm never asking anyone to do anything ever again. if they want something from me, then they can ask for themselves. otherwise, i'm on my own.

i'm tired of being disappointed. and it seems like the only person in this world that can not disappoint me, is me!

i'm going back under my rock. in like 20 years, i'll get some cats. maybe by then i'll decide i like cats.

and i think i really screwed up at work today. i'd tell you about it, but it involves classified information and stuff. i'm really scared that i'm going to be in trouble! that's a pretty bad feeling.

i'm just really sad. and i have been for like a week. i don't know why i'm sad. i don't know what would make everything better. i still feel really alone. maybe things will brighten up this weekend.

<3

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

where do the days go by?

not to sound like david byrne or anything, but how did i get here?

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?


i'm really messed up. i posted something yesterday, but i deleted it after i spent too much time second guessing. it's a question of how much is my business and how much is yours. and even though there are things that i wish i could tell the world, it still doesn't seem right. especially if i have trouble telling whoever the topic of the day is about. it's just complicated.

when i'm upset with people, or frustrated, or bothered by people, i have this weird habit of writing them a letter. i say everything that's on my mind whether it's nice or not nice or crazy or sane. and i really do feel better about it later. just with this, i've written like a zillion letters and it keeps coming back. i'm sure i could write a zillion more letters too, but deep down i know the reality is that letters aren't going to make everything better.

i hope i never made the comment as to how this blog was going to be all serious and academic and political. it's 100% personal. pure raw emotion, straight from the woman who seems to be oozing estrogen lately.

i should be really happy b/c i got two job interviews lined up. i should be really happy b/c i'll be out of here in two weeks.

but i'm not.

i let other, less important things drive me insane.

if anyone wants two 15th row seats to saturday night's matchbox twenty/sugar ray show, i have some available. really cheap.

<3