why everything that's supposed to be bad, make me feel so good?

that's got to be my fav song on the new kanye...addiction...

i have to say that i'm disappointed no one took the opportunity to tell me what a screw up i am for hanging out with the boys monday night. i was all set to defend myself! maybe i didn't mess up too badly after all...i have been having these fucked up dreams about him this week though. like um...in the 1st one...it was set up like i was watching tv i guess, because i called him and there was a split screen and i could see both me and him answering the phone...while some girl was giving him head. hahah...it was disturbing. last night's wasn't that graphic, thank goodness. he's just there. all the time.

i don't really have anything of importance to say. it's like 7p and i am just now getting dressed for the day. i want to go out, but, like usual, everyone that i call has some sort of reason not to. and it's funny because no one actually says they can't go...they say "well...i want to, but i have this to do and that to do and i'm not sure when i'll be finished." just say no and save me the minutes on my phone, yah know?

tomorrow i'm off again....and i'm sure everyone has plans. i'm spending the day with my mother, wee! dad is supposed to come back tomorrow night, so i may be stuck with her all evening as well. i need a new messenger bag for work, so maybe i can con her into getting me one. hehe

if you don't have plans, and you want to go see the 40 year old virgin, drop me a note! i have to see this movie! and not on dvd by myself at home! and not with my mother!

oh right...tonight is the night i was supposed to be seeing my rock god hero, dave grohl. please allow a moment of silence to honor the fact i'm not there.





i think i'm going to have one of those triple somethingoranother thingys from chili's for dinner. that just looks really good on tv. and i love chili's.

<3

wrasslin and revalations


so i decided to go to wrasslin' after all last night. it was actually kind of fun. one match that will be aired friday on UPN was obviously fake, but most of the matches looked real. key word - looked. they did the friday night smackdown program first, and then they went on Spike tv live with monday night raw. mike used to make me watch raw, and then the guys i liked from there (randy yummy orton and batista) got drafted to smackdown, so i haven't really watched raw lately. i almost left before the show came on, but the guy that was sitting next to me made me stay hah.

jason from work and his girlfriend had the tickets beside me and they were extremely late, so i ended up making friends with the guy next to me. he was alright...mostly impressed with my yelling at wrestlers and knowing who people are. he gave me his number...i doubt i'll call. his hands were rough! and yeah i guess he could work in construction or something....but it was a total turn off for me. and i'm not talking callous rough like he spends time lifting weights (mike.), it was like drag your hands on the concrete outside rough. beggers can't be choosers, but i reserve the right to keep some of my standards.

i'm saving the best part of the whole night for last, like i always do. like right when smackdown started, i went up to the concourse to go pee and i ran into mike and some girl. and i was just like...shocked i guess. i knew he was going, but i just assumed he'd be going with one of his boys. i didn't say anything, just kinda gave him the wave and head nod thing when he said hey! knowing he was there with a girl just kinda lingered in my head for the entire show....but it's alright now! why?

after the show i called carrie and nathan to i guess to express my shock. they both gave the same advice 'think about how much better you're off now. she's carrying your old burdens. he totally was using you. life is good now!' and they're right. i know this. i just never run into exboyfriends. they always move or i move or we were so different to start out with, we never run into each other anywhere. since mike and i have so many of the same things in common, same places to hang out, it was inevitable.

oh yeah, i was telling the story...so while i was talking to nathan i get a text message from mike. and i really don't want to text him back b/c i have nothing to say. so i don't. so he calls to see what's up. and we talked for a bit and then he asks if i want to come over and kick it. bill and tis were coming over and i haven't seen them in forever either, so why not? yeah, i can already see you guys rolling your eyes! nothing happened. that girl he was with, he complained about. that made me feel good haha. bill and tis were shocked to see me i guess. they were cracking me up...asking where the hell i've been...why i'm never around anymore. gee, i wonder? we planned to go out sometime like the old days, but i'm not holding my breath.

i wish i could explain why i went over there so you guys won't think i'm crazy or stupid or just some silly girl that's holding onto what she once had. to me, it was more a closure thing i guess. i'm still not going to call him and ask him to go do things. when i left, he was pretty adamant about how we needed to go out once i get weekends off, but i'm leaving that up to him. i'll go if he offers, but i don't see him having time to do anything anytime soon. i want to be friends! especially if we run in the same circles. and i think that's working out easier for him than it is me.

i'll be fine as soon as i find someone else to crush on. send pictures to starchica0@comcast.net. haha

<3

apparently there's a 6 drink limit

i swear rum is like the devil. it's my kryptonite!

nathan and jarrett and i went out yesterday afternoon to celebrate my new job and pretty much everyone's happiness. we stopped at west end and had like 3 drinks and some appetizers and then we went back to their apartment to just hang out until it was time for dinner and a movie.

unfortunately, we never made it to dinner or the movie, or at least i didn't make it. nathan kept forcing me to drink these rum & cokes! and i was good and drunk and feeling fine until we got in the car to go downtown to juanitas. i made it to the pine & cedar exit before i was like 'i'm going to be sick!" and i ended up puking on the shoulder of the freeway. how attractive is that?

so they brought me back home...movieless and dinnerless. i went to bed and woke up at like 11 mostly because i was hungry. i ate a whole package of crackers and drank a lot of water and watched like the last 10 minutes of the mtv/vh1/cmt telethon concert and caught up on my football scores and then watched maximum exposure (like the best freakin show on tv! even the reruns are hiliarious!). after washing my face and brushing my teeth (ick) i finally crashed out again at like 2:30.

i was so embarrassed for getting sick! i know it was the rum b/c i think out of the 4 times i've ever gotten sick from drinking, there's been rum involved in 3 of those times. you'd think i'd learn. but nathan sure knows how to make a tasty drink!

today i'm kickin' it here at home. i just don't feel like getting dressed and going anywhere. i might have partied myself out yesterday....i was going to skip work tomorrow night and go to wrestling, but i dunno if i want to do that. my conscience might force me into work. we'll see. thursday i'm hoping to go to cajuns to further celebrate my job and to see a lot of people i haven't seen in a while. one of the guys from work is the dj there on thursday nights and he keeps telling me i need to go. hopefully we'll get some people rounded up and it'll turn into a big party. especially since i saved a lot of money by getting sick last night haha

i'm surprised i didn't get any more comments or harassing emails about the dismal michigan performance yesterday. i honestly think notre dame is *that* good this year. charlie weiss has turned that program around. good for them. our defense looked good in the 2nd half, but chad henne (qb) was just totally off the mark. we had so many opportunities to win the game, but he blew it! anyway...congrats to ND fans. at least ohio state lost. hook em horns! hahaha....i'm going to be exiled from arkansas for saying that...and speaking of arkansas...losing to VANDERBILT? c'mon! at least michigan lost to a school with a tradition of winning...vandy is like a learning school, not a sporting school.

anyway...interesting day in college football. interesting day in my life! hope you were able to take advantage of this great weekend.

<3