fire breathing exhaustion

it's been a rough week. i should have made time to say something earlier than now, but it just seems like the daylight hours go by so fast and when i get home from work at midnight, i'm worthless.

i'm importing my cds onto my ipod right now, so i figured i'd use my time inbetween changing disks wisely.

i was cohersed into going to the lake yesterday. i haven't been to the lake since i was like 12 years old. it was a lot of fun - except for the awful sunburn i got. i shoulda known better. my right arm hurts it's burnt so badly. i'll stop whining. i went with about 20 people from work to lake ouachita in hot springs. one girl's dad has a houseboat, but she didn't want to take it out on the lake so we ended up at a beach and rented a jet ski to cruise the lake. everyone was drinking and there was no drama which was awesome. i rode down there with Eric which is the new day shift supervisor in master control. he's really cool - kinda artsy and really quiet and reserved most of the time. i think he and i could be good friends...he likes to share his feelings with me about things. i asked him the other day why he felt like he could tell me those sortso f things and he was just like 'i dunno. you seem like a good listener.' i guess that's a compliment? he keeps trying to get me to open up to him about things, but i'm just not at that point. i don't really share all my thoughts with anyone these days.

i couldn't sleep friday night because i was thinking about so many things. so when Eric called at 8a on saturday to get me up to go to the lake i was grouchy.

i applied for school one day last week. i also filled out those federal aid forms and stuff online. i have no idea what i want to take, but i thought it might be good use of my time that i have such an abundance of during the day. i'm thinking business. i'm thinking polisci. i'm wondering about a masters or maybe law, but i'm scared to get that deep just yet. besides, my BA sucks so i'd like to make up for it by getting another BA. i won't start this fall, but maybe spring semester.

i'm going to look for a new job, but i'm going to wait until after i get back from North Carolina before i start applying for things. unless i find a good dream job being offered. then all bets are off. i'm looking both in little rock and out of state. i love little rock, don't get me wrong, but i still have that desire to live in a real city. i'm taking my SBE Television Operators Certification exam tomorrow. i just want to get it over with and get some extra cash in my pocket. and maybe that will help in my search for a new job.

and then there's mike. he'll be back tomorrow night. i don't really know what i want to do about him. last weekend i was ready to just drop it and move on without him, but we've talked a lot since then. he called tuesday, wednesday, friday and today. friday he was saying how he was so ready to come home and today he was telling me about how he got a paper from san antonio, houston, dallas and corpus to look for jobs because he wants to stay in texas. so whatever. i'm just going to see how he acts tuesday when we hook up. if i get a good girlfriendey vibe, then fine, i'll chill out and go with it. if it's chilly, then he can count me out of this whole operation and go on and move to texas and be done with it. i'm more for the clean break breakups than the long drawn out emotionally draining ones. it kinda sucks that just when i was getting used to him not being around, that's when he comes back. argh. yeah i do still like him and care a lot about him, but the more he talks about moving, the less i want to be attached. i don't think i could move away with him. that would be insane. and besides, i said i was waiting until january to get out of here.

i've been doing a lot of crazy things lately and it's been nice the past couple of weeks just acting like the old laurie. my checking account is thankful as well. i'm going to make a conscious effort to keep things this way for a while longer.

i hope everything is good with my other bloggers. i haven't had time to catch up with everyone but i will make time soon! promise!

<3