bowling for columbine

wow. i just watched Michael Moore's Oscar winning film, Bowling for Columbine. it was very...poignant.

i know lots of people dislike (hate?) him because of the ass he made of himself during his acceptance speech during the ceremony, but this documentary is very good. moore exposes all of the excuses people like the NRA use to defend their right to bear arms.

why does america have such a high death-by-gunfire rate? canada has just as high of a gun per family ratio, yet less than 200 people die there every year. they watch the same tv, the same movies, listen to the same music. why are americans so violent?

another theme is the fact that we as americans live in constant fear. and if you're not afraid of enough already, the news is likely to find something else for you to fear. sharks, snakes, prescription drug reactions, murders, rapes, car defects, stock market crashes, burgularies, unhealthy food, etc. etc. etc. why is this? i'll admit. i'm afraid of being attacked. afraid of being murdered. afraid of being approached by a homeless man. afraid of heartattacks and obesity and sharks and snakes and even car defects. and yeah, i do largely blame this on the fact that i love watching the news and MSNBC. i have this need to be knowledgable of current events. people in freakin TORONTO don't even lock their doors at night. or when they're not home. how bizarre is that? i lock my car doors when i'm in the car driving down the highway at 80mph. there are neighborhoods where i don't feel safe sitting in my locked car at a stoplight. why is this? because i've taught myself that neighborhoods in which the streets are numbered (28th street, 65th street, etc) are not good neighborhoods and i'm more likely to be raped, murdered, carjacked in those neighborhoods than i am in my fancy white rich folk side of town with french sounding named streets (chenal, rahling, hinson, etc).

there's this hilarious cartoon "brief history of america" in the film too. mostly concerning how the white man has always lived in fear of things, which is why they have guns. they were afraid of the indians - killed them. afraid of the british - killed them. afraid of slaves - killed them. slaves were freed - white man very scared. rosa parks - white man afraid. it's a different light to see things in than the textbook perception i was fed in junior high school.

anyway. i've always been for gun control and ammunition control and WAAAAAY anti-NRA. i don't even like watching charlton heston movies just because i hate him so much as a person. bowling for columbine provides statistics for people like me, and maybe will open a few eyes to people who don't see eye to eye with me. Michael Moore is a lifetime member of the NRA and look what he does. he and two disabled students from the columbine massacre managed to convince KMart to stop selling ammunition all together. why can't walmart do that?

obviously owning a gun (or two or three or four) isn't making this country safer. i don't care if you have one to hunt with. do you really need a Tech 9 semi-automatic to shoot deer with? there's too much money involved with the NRA and the goverment to ever put a stop to this. republican or democrat, they are all waist deep in campaign funding from the deep pockets of NRA members.

i finally found something that gets my mind working and my heart pumping again. who says i need school to go on tirades?

<3

medical update

i guess my monday is a partial cause for all this. i just reread all that i said that day. i sound pretty stressed.

i went to the doctor today. well i went yesterday actually, but i was late so they made me reschedule (i was incredibly upset about this b/c my current doctor is 40 miles away and i drove 90mph to get there b/c i was told it was ok i was late). so they took blood today and are going to run some tests to check my pancreas and my liver.

monday i get to go to the hospital and have an ultrasound on my gallbladder! yay! i have to be there at 0645 which is insane. i hate hospitals so i'm making my mommy go with me. if that comes back negative, theeeen i'm going to have a scope done after i get back from NC. that's where they stick cameras down your throat to see inside your stomach. i'm realllly not looking forward to that.

the whole process of going to the hospital hasn't sank in yet. i know i'm going to freak out. blah.

i'm sure nothing is wrong with me that's really serious. we'll find out something next week i guess. your kind thoughts and prayers are appreciated though. :)

what the hell is going on here?


today is like the day from hell that will not get any better. i swear.

i was happy when i got up. it's monday. i was dressed on time. i got my ebay stuff to put in the mail. i went and checked my box..had some bills and a money order. it's all good.

i go out onto my street. it's backed up. back to school traffic. they haven't even started on the stoplight i know is in the works for my intersection. let's get a move on now. this sucks.

so i get out onto the main road. it's backed up worse than usual. damn school buses. and what's sad is that the county started school today, not the city. so next week it's going to be even worse! blahblah

once i got on the freeway it was ok. no big trucks blocking the way in the construction or anything. but i made the mistake of opening my bills while i'm driving. one of the bills was from the electric company for the apartment i moved out of THREE FREAKIN MONTHS AGO! and it's for $90 so i know someone's living there. i'm fucking not paying for someone else's electricity when i can't even pay my own fucking bills!

i got to work and i'm mad as hell over this. i call my mom to get the griping out of my system before i call the electric company. the guy there is actually really nice. says that apts screw up all the time and offers to send me some sort of Affidavit to help me clear this up. he said i needed to go to the apt people though if i wanted to get out of paying my bill. that does not make me happy b/c those stupid fucks at the old apt have screwed with me ever since i left (ever since i complained about my car being vandalized and calling the cops and stuff). so i angrily call them. get their message. leave a pretty mean message.

this lady calls back like 30 mins later. says to call her but it was my responsibility. whatever. i have it in writing where the girl said they would turn off the electricity after the lease was up (June 30). well that girl no longer works there blahblah. who freakin cares? i'm not paying this 90 dollar bill for something i don't even have possession of! the lady says that they can't turn off your electricity b/c that involves social security numbers. but when i call the electric company back later to make sure the acct is not in my name anymore, they say it was moved on august 7! well WHO FUCKING MOVED IT IF NO ONE CAN TURN IT OFF BUT ME?! so yes that does not make sense.

i'm waiting patiently for my affidavit and then we'll be throwing around some legal weight. i'm sick and tired of this crap.

so i was really happy when it was time to go home. but a storm just happen to blow through little rock between 3-4 (but mysteriously not my office on the sw side) and knock out the stoplights down cantrell (which is the main road to my house). so i sat in traffic for a while. and then got fed up and took another road. and then another road. and then i got on the freeway which was moving better than the backroads! so blah a typical 20 min drive turns into a 70 min fiasco and i'm still not happy when i get home.

i watched the season finale of season 1 of Six Feet Under. i'm sad b/c season 2 isn't out on dvd yet. blah! be that way!

and the date that i was pretty gosh darn excited about has been cursed by the Lord. the poor boy is sick with the flu and has been in bed since saturday. so i have to wait at least a week, and maybe until after i get back from NC to go out. *sigh* i was really really looking forward to some attention and interesting conversation and just doing something i typically don't do on a weeknight. it's like you don't realize what you're missing out on until someone dangles a bone in front of you and then puts it away for safe keeping. blah on illnesses.

oh yeah, i'm still sick. so i called today to see if i could get some extra drugs to take to nc with me and they say no i have to have another checkup. so yay i get to go to the doctor again.

and nikki tells me she had a dream about me in which i was dead. that doesn't bother me so much really. i don't think so at least.

so yeah. i guess it is true that i only write when i'm not pleased with whatever is going on. i never write when i'm just existing. it's when i'm living! and i'm on the dip of the rollercoaster ride right now.

<3