observations and such


i really don't feel like going off on a political tangent today. i just want to write. so here's my day.

the razorbacks were playing in town today (because the UofA is in Fayetteville which is in the northwest corner of our boxy state, they play a couple of home games in Little Rock every year. once, the UofA tried to take away those home games, we used to get 3 or 4 games a season...now just 2, and that just pissed a bunch of people off. so we are happy with our two games, even though they are usually against cupcakes like North Texas Univ.) so traffic was awful. i swear these country folk don't know how to handle the city. i'd hate to see what happens if they ever got to see a real city.

jarrett and i were going to go to the game, but we had no tickets. so our original plan was to just head over to the stadium and we'll probably be able to buy some off some guy trying to get rid of his. once we got on markham though we realized there were a LOT of people who wanted to go to this game. lots of people on the street corners trying to buy tickets. so we just drove on by.

i wish i went! it was a blowout, but i looove the whole vibe of going to a college football game. the cheers and the bands and just everything.

but instead i got to go shopping. and i got some new clothes to wear to work. yay! i've been needing clothes because i sold a lot of my stuff on ebay. most of what i had i didn't wear, and i was tired of wearing the same thing (at least it seems that way to me) to work every week! plus, with this new job opportunity i have, i was excited. and i needed new clothes. hehe

ryan said he got to meet gen. clark today at the game. i'm very jealous. i'm sure he'll write a big long thing about it monday. the blogmonster (my term of endearment for him) is really passionate about this whole campaign thing. he's starting up a students for clark chapter at his school (pulaski tech. college) and apparently he chatted it up with the Arkansans for Clark people at the game and he's going to get involved with them too. it was me who told him about Clark being at the game. it was me who suggested we go to the dinners and volunteer for the campaign. it is me who has the notion that she's going to be left out should ryan choose to move forth with this endeavour. but i guess if i start a new job at night soon then my volunteering time will be drastically cut. and going to the 1st monday dinners is definitely out.

i'm glad i'm the person with the ideas though. hell, if i'm not going to utilize them, someone else might as well.

i have a huge girlie crush on someone. and the one person i've told is convinced i should just confess. but i look at my track record and i can only think that confession would be the worst thing i could do. so i'm not saying anything. should the word get out some other way, so be it. i doubt anything will change. so i guess if you think i like you more than i should, tell me to grow up and that you're not interested. that way i can hurry up and get onto the recovery stage.

michigan lost today. how crappy is that? at least it was to a decent team and not some backwoods school. they'll be back next week with a vengence. i'm sorry for whoever gets to play them. i think arkansas has alabama next week. that should be a good game. bama lost today too, but to northern illinois who seem to be the giant killers this year. they knocked off maryland the first game of the season.

anyway. i'm sleepy and it's not even 11p. i need to train myself to sleep less. esp if i'm going to be working until midnight. eek!

that's enough for today. i'll probably watch meet the press in the morning and get all pissed off about something. then maybe i'll go back on my ranting. i think blogmonster has sapped all my energy for that though. he's so much better at it than i am.

<3

employment opportunity

how does a 16 hour workday sound? just wonderful? great!

i had dinner with some old friends the other night and one of them asked if i would be interested in one of the positions he has open at a tv station. i am so hard up for cash (doing everything short of prostitution) i said sure. so monday i'm going by his office to check out the scenery. i want the 4p-midnight shift b/c that means i can keep my current job. of course i'll probably end up working 7:30a-3:30p and then 4-midnight. but i'll be making close to $34,000 a year. which would pay off my bills and i'll have enough money to make a car payment when that kicks in at the end of January.

i don't really use my time after work for useful things anyway. i just sit here in front of the computer or in front of the tv, both of which i will be doing at this new job. it's master control which is basically keeping the station on the air. i'll be working primetime which is exciting b/c that's the only time interesting things come on. of course it is the wb network so i'll have to set my vcr for things like Friends and other shows i want to watch this season. and i'll still have my weekends free to watch football or sleep or whatever. so how bad is that? not so bad if you ask me.

i am very lucky that this old friend didn't just write me off months ago. he's very generous to be offering me a job like this. i think he's very desperate for good people to work. i am GOOD PEOPLE DAMNIT!

i'm excited. moreso about the dollar signs flashing in front of my eyes than the 16 hour days, but when you're at this stage in life, you gotta do what you gotta do. and at least i'm not a hooker.

i still want a boyfriend though.


<3

The General is In...

i went to General Clark's announcement today that he is running for President of the United States. hobnobbing with the most famous democrats in arkansas. i ran into the governor who had to resign (and allowed the republican fatso mike huckabee take office 2 years early). i saw the old secretary of state. one of the most famous senators from arkansas, David Pryor.

anyway...it was very exciting and i am hopeful that he will do very well in the primaries. he's awesome! vote for him! i'm sure we'll be learning more and more about him and his policies in the near future.

<3

i got this thing called blogchalk that indexes and googles my site. so yeah just ignore this post ;)


This is my new blogchalk:
United States, arkansas, little rock, pleasant valley :), English, Laurie, Female, 21-25. :)

dirty laundry to be aired


i'm in a really bad mood. i have no idea what brought it on, unless spending time thinking about things counts.

this blog goes in million directions all the time. so if you picked me up because you thought i'd be a political read, i'm sorry. i'm occassionally a political read. i'm usually a nutcase with a lot of pecans to spill. and if you just started reading this week, i'm really sorry because you've caught the worst week of the month. take a week off and check back then. maybe i'll be back on some political rampage.

if you actually care about me and my personal doings, then i guess you're welcome to stay.

i have a lot of stress in my life. i'm sure you do too. but see, i am a giver. i worry about other people all the time. how they feel, what's going on with them, what their stress level is like and what i can do to alleviate that. so, in turn, my personal crap just waits in line patiently for it's turn and then about once a month it all comes out and i'm mad as hell for two days and then it's over.

so instead of worrying about *me* i've had my hands full with people from work who've been sick and hurricanes blowing my dear nikki away and my dad being in Anniston, AL, and another friend who's having surgery next month and hurting someone's feelings because i don't like them the way they like me and helping another friend with his website and there's a commission meeting coming up at work and...well you get the picture.

so here's what's on my plate that needs to be shoved down the disposal:

i'm one broke woman. this week is payday at least. and october is a 3 payday month! that's like an extra paycheck! i need another job though. if not a full time, higher paying job, something part time and easy. i just don't want to spend every waking hour working. but i guess that's what you've got to do sometimes. the deal i have with my mom is to find something once i get whatever is wrong with me worked out.

and speaking of whatever is wrong with me. if that's not stress, i don't see what stress is. i worry all day long about whether or not i'm going to be sick if i have a cereal bar for breakfast or some grilled chicken at lunch. i'm worried about the procedure next month. and then today my mother wants to know how much weight i've lost since i can't eat all the things i used to love. i've lost 5 pounds! apparently that's not enough. i've decided that i'm a solid girl who's stuck at this weight forever more and i guess as long as that weight is considered obese, then i'm obese. sure, i'd love to be skinny. i'd love to weigh 150 even though that's not so skinny. i'd love to have every man on the street turn his head when i walked past. but they don't, and honestly it's not that big of a deal to me. i don't like group attention so much. i love individual attention. who knows though. maybe i will lose weight when this ordeal is all over with. is it going to get me more attention? maybe. but honestly, there are like 3 people on this earth i would accept attention from right now. and part of me would turn them down if they showed up when i was skinny. they didn't like me when i was fat, so what's the difference? i'm still the same laurie.

that issue just took a turn into the whole boyfriend thing that i posted about sunday. i should post some of the emails i got in response to that. one guy said that i should raise my age limit b/c the good guys are all older than 26. you know, almost every guy i've ever gone out with has been 5+ years older than me. and going out with them only made me realize how young i actually was. i'm immature! that's why i thought i should stick to guys closer to 23. they usually act 16 which is what i feel somedays.

one of my friends thinks i'm depressed. and you know, i might be a little. i've been depressed before, a long time ago and this is nothing compared to that. i deal with things better now than i used to. if i am bummed out it's because of boy things. i always like the wrong guy and the wrong guy always likes me. and well i'm sick of that and i'm sick of having to make my own entertainment all the time. why doesn't anyone invite me to do anything? i'm always the coordinator of events. and that's b/c i get sick and tired of being alone with me all the time. and then when i ask other people to do things, i feel like i'm invading their space and wasting their time if they say yes. i would think (hope) that my friendship is more valuable to others than that, but sometimes i do need reassuring. i'm a freakin girl! girls always want compliments and praise, things to prove that they are worth something. and i live by myself so i don't get that everyday. and i work in a very small office where you're just expected to work your ass off and not get a "you're doing a great job" everyday. you know what would be nice (and if this happens i'm so going to know it's not your original idea, so keep thinking)? when i do have this scope thing done next month, it would be nice to come home and see notes from my friends. or even see my friends who took the time out of their busy schedule to care for their sick friend who is always taking care of them. that's really bad of me to make such a strong suggestion like that, but seriously, i'm scared as hell. i am a person who does not get sick damnit!

i just want to be special, but not special to just anyone. the right people. i discriminate like that.

this post has gone on for way too long. i doubt anyone would read this garbage, but if it's any consolation, i feel better sorta. it's not for you, it's for me. maybe i'll be back on my game soon.

<3

excitement! he's IN! YAY!

i just want to extend my gratitude to General Wesley Clark for deciding to enter the 2004 Presidential Election. The critics may talk about his lack of experience or the mystery of his stance on issues, but General Clark is no better qualified than any of the other nine democratic candidates.

If you're interested in learning more about this great man, click on a link over there on the left. the banner and the linklink go to two different Wesley Clark sites.

and i will be there tomorrow at noon when the General throws his hat into the ring. man i hate cliche's but it was inevitable.

not so serious girl post

i want a boyfriend damnit! well maybe not a boyfriend. a male companion that i can hang out with and have conversations with (educated, intellectual and sometimes silly conversations) and occassionally make out with. is that too much to ask? i must be on the verge of PMSing because all i really want is a lot of attention. and affection.

so here's the pre-requisites for the position of "laurie's male companion that's an intellectual and good kisser:"

--must like college football (ok tolerate my semi-obsession), politics, reading the paper, watching the news, furthering education
--needs to be able to cook.
--non-smoker, social drinker, no drugs.
--age between 22-26
--must have car, job (or school), money for himself
--sweet, romantic, but not smothering. knows that although i love attention, i may not want it everyday
--does not open doors for me, doesn't get pissy when i insist on buying dinner
--doesn't mind staying in instead of going out.
--likes good movies and good music
--takes care of me when i'm sick (and lets me do the same for him when he's sick)
--will treat me like a princess :)

i'm not asking for too much am i? if you think you qualify, leave me a comment. or email me. and yeah i'm fat now but i probably won't be much longer (read any posts where i whine about my illness to find out more...).

and why do i want all of this now? i dunno really. i was watching Meet the Press this morning and for some reason i thought that the show would be much more interesting if i wasn't watching it alone. instead of me talking to the empty room and the tv, maybe having someone around to agree and disagree with my comments would make me feel less stupid. and how else am i going to get someone to be at my house at 9:00 on a sunday morning? it's just been so long and now i miss it.

pretty soon i'm going to drop all standards and just insist some guy come over to make out.

<3

what is liberation?
and other thoughts on Cheney's appearence on Meet the Press

when you hear the word "liberation" what do you picture in your mind? for me, that picture is of the tanks rolling through the streets of Paris at the end of WWII. the french people were lining the streets throwing flowers at the passing American soldiers. the french didn't complain about "american occupation" and the international community (besides the defeated axis powers) did not point fingers at the US and accuse us of expanding our empire.

how can the current situation in Iraq be considered a liberation? yes i know there are some people who were very excited about Saddam being ousted (and i guess they didn't throw flowers b/c flowers cannot grow in the desert), but there seems to be so many more who don't want us there. of course, my take on the situation is based upon what i see in the media which loves to focus on negativity instead of soft stories.

VP Cheney was on Meet the Press this morning. When asked about the number of casulties before May 1st and after May 1st (may 1st being the day that Pres. Bush stood on the USS Lincoln under a banner saying "Mission Accomplished"), Cheney says "that is only 300 casulties. very little compared to the 3000 we lost here at home." is that really a justification? because 3000 civilians died, we should lose at least 3000 soldiers to make up for it? how can losing 6,000 Americans explain the occupation of Iraq? how many American soldiers were lost in France after the liberation of Paris? (and i mean as a result of guerrella attacks or hostile fire, not car accidents or faulty ammunition)

When asked about the Halliburton contracts in Iraq (signed, sealed and delivered via the Department of Defense), Cheney said he no longer had any interests in that company, i.e. financial, influential, anything. He had nothing to do with the fact that Halliburton has the ability to make millions reconstructing Iraq. When he was at Halliburton (These were the years between bush administrations..when no one with a sane mind would allow him to work IN the government...so he takes a post that works WITH the government...hmm), he said he never stepped foot into the DoD, except when they hung his portrait up for being a past Secretary of Defense. Even if he never went to the DoD and has no influence there now, doesn't he have friends that still work there? coworkers? CONNECTIONS? This latest contract with the Army Corps of Engineers was a no-bid contract, meaning the Corps just walked into Halliburton and said "we've got this Iraq deal and if you want, you can have it and we'll pay you blahblah millions and you'll probably make a profit of blahblah hundred million." Would any self-respecting businessman turn that down? nope. Read more about Halliburton and Dick Cheney here. (thanks ryan)

When Cheney was asked if the President was basing his presidency on the war in Iraq, he said no. "Pres. Bush is basing his legacy on the war on terror." Are you sure you want to do that? We've destroyed two countries and left them in ruins and chaos (Iraq moreso than Afghanistan) and we can't find the two people we use as the justification for starting both wars. that sounds like a losing record to me.

did you know that if the top 1% of the tax bracket had their Bush provided tax cut taken away for one year (12 months), that would be enough money to pay for the Iraq invasion. (stat from Tim Russert and Meet the Press). Cheney says "no we are not going to raise taxes" but would that really be raising taxes? wouldn't it be keeping the status quo for another year? or is that logical thinking?