mood swings
you know. i woke up this morning happier than ever. i'm off from work. i have nothing planned to do and i looked forward to lounging around in my pajamas all day relaxing.
and i have no complaints about that really. i loved the whole day.
but now i'm mad. like really, blood boiling, angry.
see. i've spent the last, we'll just say, month flirting my ass off with this guy, who, mind you, flirted his ass off with me. and today he decides that because i don't live in the same city, that he's no longer interested and therefore stops talking to me completely.
i can throw a temper tantrum, i can whine, i can gripe, and i get nothing out of him. except him saying that he's looking for a good woman. what the fuck am i? so he rephrases...a good "close" woman.
here's my problem with that.
1. he and i work a lot. he works weekends sometimes. i just flat out work all week long day and night. what does it matter that we don't live in the same city? we couldn't see each other all the time anyway!
2. he and i both say we don't want to be smothered by our girlfriend/boyfriend. well if we both work all the freakin time and we live apart, i doubt smothering would be a problem.
3. I FEEL LIKE I'VE WASTED THE PAST MONTH JUST LIKE I'VE WASTED THE PAST TWO FUCKING YEARS pursuing some stupid moronic guy who looks past the *good woman* flailing her arms in front of him.
i'm just mad b/c i finally let reality take over and i stopped pursuing these perfect guys and started going after average guys that are more like me and i still get screwed. i'm not freakin lowering my standards again. i'll be stuck with retards and toothless rednecks.
and somehow i thought i actually had a freakin chance this time.
there's other things going on, but i don't feel like writing about them now.
<3
