randomness

i ordered JM tickets this morning. i ended up on the SECOND FREAKIN ROW!!! in the middle :) YAAAAY! so now i can't wait until november. i need to figure out who i'm taking as well.

my gastro doctor called today while i was at work. left a message on my house voicemail but didn't bother calling my work number. i'm a little upset about this because i didn't find out i had a message until 4p and by then he was already gone for the day. so now i have to wait until monday. why do they ask for a work number if they are going to call my house and not bother trying the office when i'm not home? so blah. i guess it's not life threatening because he only called once. i'll find out monday what the next step will be in this awful endevour. and my arm has been hurting ever since i got home yesterday afternoon. the arm they took blood of is throbbing. i guess she poked me near a nerve or something.

i've created a blogmonster in Ryan. i think he has a lot of built up frustration with things and it's all pouring out right now. he's quite the intellectual and uses concrete evidence for the statements and accusations he makes. he's definitely a good read, whether you're into politics or not. and i think he's going to deal with social issues as well. he's only been blogging for three days now, but i'm sure he's written more than people who've been blogging for three months.

and why do nikki's comments work on her blog (that she quit writing in) and mine don't? i've even replaced the code! grar! i'm going to start a new account or something.

and yeah, i'm going to get to rearranging things tomorrow probably. my team plays at 2:30 and will probably be tape delayed (thanks to the WONDERFUL ABC affiliate in Little Rock who never shows ABC games b/c they have a contract with Jefferson Pilot), so it won't be during that. i doubt i'll change the template. i like the blues still.

anyway...until tomorrow...

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exciting day at the hospital

(i'm writing this at 4 in the afternoon, but my blog is silent for sept 11th so i'm delaying the posting until after midnight. )

i spent 3 hours at the hospital today for some tests. and at the time of the tests i was feeling okay but now it's striking back. i think all of that stuff they injected into my IV is attacking my system. i feel awwwful now.

i got there at like 10 and they sent me to radiology for my biliary scan. that was the most boring 2 hours i've spent since i got out of school. all i could do was lay on this table while this xray machine floated above my abdomen taking pictures for two hours. it was cold and uncomfortable and i couldn't figure out how to keep my arms on the table. they put an IV in and they injected two different things i guess to make the organs show up better on the images. the guy who did it was a Med Student and he was really nice. he went to UALR too. played baseball and now wants to be a radiologist.

after that i got to go to the lab to have some blood taken. because my right arm was tainted with whatever they injected, she had to take blood from my left arm. so i should have two lovely bruises tomorrow. theen, before i could leave they gave me two urine sample cups and said everytime i had to pee for the next two hours, i had to do it in that cup. so i got to go home and have lunch (finally! i was starving) and then i had to take back my piss cups later.

since i've been home i have been soooo sick. like worse than usual. i think it's a result of whatever was injected into me this morning. and i'm really tired. i feel like i've been stretched through a wringer.

i probably won't know the results until tomorrow or monday. then i have no idea what route we are going to take. whatever it is, as long as it makes me well again, i'm all for it.

new new new!

i'm going to start rearranging the layout of things this weekend probably. like links and stuff. my friend ryan has a blog now! he's even more opinionated than i am. it's linked over on the left right now (or i linked his name like i do almost everyone i name in this blog). you should check it out. it would make his day.

i have to order my john mayer tickets at 9am. i'm still very excited about it. i'm just too drained right now to express my excitement. more later though, i'm sure.

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flags on sept 11th

i wanted to repost this article about the american flag that i wrote about in april.

[ Wed Apr 30, 05:29:33 PM | laurie ringler ]
american flags

my girl nikki posted something about how it is trendy to sport a yellow ribbon and fake patriotism these days. it was strange because i had just read an article in the latest issue of Rolling Stone (RS 922, May 15, 2003), by Bill Moyers that was along the same lines. I've been searching for a link to it on the RS webpage, but can't find anything. So because i type fairly fast, here it is:

Reclaiming the Flag by Bill Moyers

I wore my flag tonight, first time. Until now, I haven't thought it necessary to display a little metallic icon of patriotism for everyone to see. It was enough to vote, pay my taxes, perform my civic duties, speak my mind and do my best to raise my kids to be good Americans.

Sometimes I would offer a small prayer of gratitude that I had been born in a country whose institutions sustained me, whose armed forces protected me and whose ideals inspired me; I offered my heart's affections in return. It no more occurred to me to flaunt the flag on my chest than it did to pin my mother's picture on my lapel to prove her son's love. Mother knew where I stood; so does my country. I even tuck a valentine in my tax return on April 15th.

So what's this flag doing here? Well, I put it on to take it back. The flag has been hijacked and turned into a logo -- the trademark of a monopoly on patriotism. On Sunday morning talk shows, official chest appear adorned with the flag as if it were the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. During the State of the Union address, did you notice Bush and Cheney wearing the flag? How come? No administration's patriotism is ever in question, only it's policies. When i see flags sprouting on official lapels, I think of the time in China when I saw Mao's "Little Red Book" on every official's desk, omnipresent and unread.

But more galling than anything are all those moralistic ideologues in Washington sporting the flag on their lapels while attacking dissenters as un-American. They are people whose ardor for war grows disproportionately to their distance from the fighting. They're in the same league as those swarms of corporate lobbyists wearing flags and prowling Capitol Hill for tax breaks even as they call for more spending on war.

So I put this on as a modest riposte to men with flags on their lapels who shoot missiles from the safety of Washington think tanks, or argue that sacrifice is good as long as they don't have to make it, or approve of bribing governments to join the coalition of the willing (after they first stash the cash). I put it on to remind myself that not every patriot thinks we should do to the people of Baghdad what Bin Laden did to us. The flag belongs to the country, not to the government. And it reminds me that it's not un-American to think that war -- except in self defense -- is a failure of moral imagination, political nerve and diplomacy. Come to think of it, standing up to your government can mean standing up for your country.

Bill Moyers is the host of "Now with Bill Moyers" and has won more than thirty Emmys.

some emphasis (like everything in bold) was created by me and not the author.

my sept 11th comments


this blog will honor a day of silence and remembrance tomorrow in honor of the people who were lost on 09/11/01. this is for two reasons: i feel that there is nothing i could complain about that is more important than those individuals and i'm tired of hearing people say that Democrats are un-patriotic and un-american because we don't support things like the war in Iraq.

i was at work on sept. 11th. one of our specialists left to do an audit and his wife called in at like 8:15 looking for him. when i told her he was already gone she said ok and hung up. like two seconds later he called and told us to go turn the tv on immediately. i missed the planes hitting (thank goodness) but i did see the buildings collapse. and i remember when Peter Jennings said that something was going on in DC and talked about smoke coming from the Pentagon. I work in the State Police building, which was locked down shortly afterward. My boss told us we should leave and spend time with loved ones. so i went home. and i couldn't sit there because i wanted to talk to someone. so i went to school. and i spent most of the rest of the day in the TV studio watching the tele with Larmon and this other guy. that night i went to dinner with Nathan and Jarrett at Tony Romas. The president gave his speech then and because i was the only one who could see the TV, i read the closed captioning aloud for them.

it was just a weird day. surreal i guess. and then i remember for the next couple of weeks there was nothing on tv but reporters standing at ground zero telling the stories of the innocent people who were lost that day. i think that constant tv watching in the weeks afterward really messed up my concept of safety. it's like you are never safe whereever you go, even in your own home. (watch bowling for columbine which explains this further)

anyway. i think september 11th should be a holiday. people should spend time with family and friends that day. malls and retail stores should be closed (having a September 11th sale just seems so wrong) so those people can also share in the holiday. i know we just had labor day and everything, so cancel that. it's not like people actually do anything memorable on labor day anyway. september 11th just seems like a more honorable holiday.

i'll be spending 2003's 9/11 getting tests run for my mystery illness. i also plan to tell everyone i consider my friend thank you for just being my friend. you have to let people know you appreciate them because sometimes it just ends in an instant and you don't want to be the one who's looking back saying "wow i never told so-and-so how much they meant to me." that's what is important on this day.

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why i download music


There is a big uproar in the media and among the internet about how the RIAA is going after it's consumers by slapping thousands of dollars lawsuits on file swappers. I'm sure we all know the background story. The artists are losing money because CD sales are slumping, but is that really the file swappers fault?

i only have about 250 files downloaded using file sharing networks like Kazaa (and Kazaa Lite) and WinMX. a lot of them are either live songs that are unavailable to buy in stores or single songs from artists whom i usually do not like. Geggy Tah has only one song that i know of, and even though i like that song, i don't think it is worth $16.99, or the price of the entire cd. There are services available that allow you to download music at a small cost (avg price: $0.99 a song) but that still comes out to be $15-20 to fill an entire CD-R. Why do that when driving down to the nearest retail store has the same disc on sale for $9.99? I can't afford the dollar-a-song price anyway.

File sharing services need to stay. Where else am i going to find a copy of the Counting Crows singing Round Here live? It's not like they come to town whenever i want to hear them. It's not like using Kazaa has completely stopped me from purchasing CDs in a store. I have about 400 cds and the collection is growing every month. I only bought some of those cds because i was able to download a bunch of tracks from the Internet before i made my decision. I can't afford to buy things on a whim! So don't harass me for trying to get a preview of something before i buy it.

As for this whole lawsuit business, bring it on. I have $12,000 in college loans, $30,000 car and $5,000 in credit card debit. There isn't much you're going to be able to take from me. The worst thing the RIAA could do would be to alienate their clientele, and slapping $12,000 lawsuits on 18 year old kids seems to be along those lines. What is the RIAA going to do when these kids grow up? Tell their kids not to purchase cds either? I think focusing on the quality of the music that is released and the price of these products would be the best business decision that the RIAA can make at this point. The tv/movie/video world survived the rise and fall of the VCR, maybe it's time to figure out a way to work with the internet consumer (at a cheap to free cost) instead of angrying an entire generation.



email me since my comments link is malfunctioning.

this post was inspired by a recent article on cnn.com by a Princeston Student (and CNN intern) who experienced a dorm neighbors angst of being sued by the RIAA.

john mayer for like the 20th time

ok so i've been having those dreams right. well today, i get the weekly john mayer newsletter and wouldn't you know it? he's coming to town in November. how freakin awesome is that? is it fate? destiny? should i be this excited? like anything is going to happen. hah. i'm a dreamer though ;)

i got the new disc today too. it's not so much of a surprise b/c i've been listening to the stream on MTV.com for like the past 4 days. it's still really good though. i'm sure the critics hate it b/c it's a bit more electric than Squares, but it's still good. he is such a good lyricist. i love Daughers and Home Life and Come Back to Bed.

anyway...that's the big highlight of today. i just think it's kind of strange i've been having these dreams and now he'll be in the neighborhood. yay!!

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this madness has got to stop!

ANOTHER dream starring JM. that's like two this week! only broken up sunday night by a dream about the WTC (because i watched like 2 shows on Discovery about the rise and fall of the buildings before i went to sleep).

this time he was performing a show at an ampitheatre near my house (no such place exists IRL). i need to rewind a bit. there's a radio station in town that's having "LickFest 2003" in october. a concert with Staind and a bunch of other people. well in my dream, JM was a part of that lineup. would never happen b/c Lick is the station for testosterone meatheads and not sensitive acoustic guitar playing singer/songwriters. but anyway, this is my dream and not reality.

so we, meaning a bunch of my friends i'm going to the show with, were hanging out and JM is freaking sitting near us watching whoever is performing. so i just start talking to him (complete opposite of what happened in the other dream), and he's really cool. well the whole time we're chatting i'm thinking i should be getting pictures of this. but i don't have my camera. so i drive home and get it and i'm thinking he'll be gone when i get back and he's not. so blahblah i take all these great pictures and he sees them and he's like "hey those are really cool pics" and he asks if my friend and i want to hang out backstage. umm...YES! and well that was the end of it for me.

there was a part with people shooting bottle rockets and catching power lines on fire. i don't think that's possible either, but i guess anything happens in dreamland.

and when i woke up and turned on the tv (to VH1 like i do every morning) the video for No Such Thing was just coming on. ironic, yes?

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a visit to the gastroenterologist

sounds like a childrens book. hehe. so far from the truth.

actually the gastro isn't very exciting. that's b/c most of the fun stuff happens at the hospital and not in his office. he's a nice man. looks like this lawyer that has all these tv commercials on (Peter Miller for whoever lives in LR and knows LR tv commercials). all that happened today was a Q and A session. he said it doesn't sound like i have an ulcer because when you eat, you feel better instead of feel worse like i do. he poked me around like everyone seems to enjoy to do these days.

so thursday i get to go to the hospital...not to have the tubes crammed down my throat for a scope, but to have a biliary scan. something to do with bile and your liver/gallbladder combo i think. and a bunch of blood tests too. yay. then from there we're going to look at options.

at least i'm not having a scope yet. i say yet because he said we might still do one later. and a colonoscopy. eek!

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