virginity


that's something that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. in case you've missed the last 389027534 times i've said it, and it seems like no one realizes it, i am a virgin. yay.

now why on earth would i subject myself to a life of celibacy? not by choice, that's for sure. i'm not very religious. i don't think virginity is some sacred thing that should be held onto until marriage. i think that the sexual part of a relationship is just as important as the emotional and physical and if you've never slept with the guy you're married to, then how do you know it's going to last forever? what if you don't click?

i'm a virgin due to lack of opportunity. the only real *relationship* i had was the summer between high school and college. that boy was skeezy and there was no way i was going to get naked with that. now back then i didn't think that way, but at least i did have enough sanity left to keep my pants on.

and then there was the nightmare date. that has to be why i freak out over things. which is really crappy b/c since then (4 years ago) i've been incredibly shy and even when the opportunity has come along, i can't do anything.

so now it's like i'm starting to realize that i'm not getting any younger. i'll be twenty-four in 10 days. how many twenty-four year old virgins are left in this country? like 7! and what is ::insert guy here:: going to think when he realizes that i'm a virgin. and i'm a virgin in almost every sense of the word. i'm not kidding when i say i'm innocent and angelic! i could easily get into a convent!

that's what's on my mind this week. i want to get past this phase SOOOooooooo badly, but it has to be with someone that understands what's going on. and it's my birthday damnit! ;)

<3