argh!

i'm so tired, but i thought i'd write something before it ends up being monday the 14th and i've still got the same post at the top. sorry to those of you that come by everyday just to see if there's anything new here...don't say you don't check because i know you do!

i guess the obvious question would be, 'have you broken up with mike yet?' and the answer to that would be a big fat no, i haven't. why not? all those weird coincedences kept happening and next thing i knew it was the weekend and i was working all weekend so we didn't really see each other until last night (monday) dinner. by then, it was way too late to find someone else to go to the basketball game with me tonight (tuesday), so i gave up.

i did all those days in parenthesises because i think when i push to publish this, it'll show wednesday the 9th and to me it's still tuesday the 8th b/c i haven't gone to sleep yet. blahblahblah! anyway

so yeah, i never did it. and i thought about it on the way home tonight and he was just talking on and on about how he and i are going to go see all of these concerts over the summer (with who's money?) and how we're going to go to vegas in the fall like i want and how we're going to tunica this friday for my birthday and how awesome it will be. he was just too happy and well i wasn't really in the mood to put an end to that. i know none of the things he was talking about is like permanent, but it still scares me that we would be making plans that far out for anything!

what's the point anyway? we haven't slept together since freakin christmas! i don't want to be with someone 8 months from now that sleeps with me every few months just to keep me around.

but then, on the other hand, it's kinda nice having someone around that knows what i like and passes me the salt and pepper without me asking and orders me a drink when i'm not around. oo and the holding hands thing as we walked from the forum to the parking garage was cool. i'm a freakin sap! i can't help it! i spent my entire life looking after myself and making my own decisions and living without a man (minus the summer of Patrick) and well, sometimes change is good and needed. i know it's made me seem like i'm way dependent on him, but lord, sometimes isn't it nice to let someone else control the situation? it's like you get tired after a while of being the driver, and if someone else comes along and wants to take care of you, let them do it! take a vacation from yourself for a while. that's kind of how i look at what i'm doing.

but back on that first hand, the nice things shouldn't matter if i'm still frustrated and semi-miserable when i get home, alone.

today we went to the grizzlies game against the timberwolves. we were like THISCLOSE to the players. it was unbelieveable. we even had a waitress to go get our food and drinks, should we need them (i never took advantage....mike got a beer out of her). kevin garnett is a tall skinny freak of a man. and wally szczerbiak is gorgeous, just like on tv. haha. i took a few pictures, i may post them eventually. technically we were on the 3rd row...front row of the arena style stands and then there were 2 rows of folding chairs courtside in front of us.

i hate that i'm so complain-ey about mike, even though i had an awesome time at the game. he even said that it was surreal. and before you ask, no i did not drink so much i puked like last time. i didn't really drink much at all this time. and even if i did, we were on ground level so i doubt i would have gotten that sick. mike said he'd take me to another game before the season is over, maybe the Suns (woo steve nash!) or the Mavericks again.

i have to work tomorrow night (weds) and then thursday i'm going out with a bunch of people because it's my birthdaaaaaaaaay! wooooo! and friday some of those people and a few others are going to the casinos with me to gamble away whatever loose change we can find in the sofa cushions. i work saturday night (if i make it back from memphis) and then i'm off sunday & monday. pretty crazy schedule, but i'm not complaining. good days off.

my hair smells like Dennys. a mix of fried food and syrup. haha

if i snap before friday or at the casinos from sexual frustration, i'll be sure to let you know. i can't believe i couldn't get any tonight. i had the big booty pants on and the big booby bra on and i was workin it like you wouldn't believe. but he did work 5am-10am this morning, and he was even more tired than i am now, so maybe i can chalk that one up to exhaustion. maybe he's saving up for friday night. that would be an interesting surprise. hmm.....

i'll be back when i'm 25.

<3